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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ode to conformity: i love theedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kocdagm
    Elite Ratio:    2.19 - 2/6/2
    Words: 243
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 180
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1583



    Description:
       This is my first poem here, I hope you guys like it. Mostly, its about letting go of stereotypes and feeling as though for once, you are free. Please give me any advise that you have, positive or negative. Hope you like it!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsode to conformity: i love theedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Oh holy night
    Light shines around me
    Floating up
    Inflated with verbal helium
    I try to grasp the ends
    Tie them together again
    Air flies through my hair
    Wind at my feet
    And I soar.

    You are gone, as am I
    The life I had is gone
    My pearls are left on the dresser
    The five inch heels in their bag
    My make up is smeared
    I walk invisible
    No hand to shake, no smile to smile
    All dressed up, and no where to go.

    I love thee thrice, and once removed
    Add the Mona Lisa’s smile
    My modern attitude interferes
    Jazz and blues croon to me
    While Mozart leads me in a waltz

    Free to think
    To be
    To love
    The Garden of Eden and heavens above
    The lord is my Shepard
    My family my sheep
    Perfect at last, I find long lost sleep

    I know not of these matters
    Of mice and of men
    Suburbia calls me
    Tying my apron
    Fluffing my hair
    I wake with suprise, I’m already there.

    My husband's a banker
    My children get A's
    My kitchen is spotless
    A Betty Crocker queen



    Starched pinafores for Alice
    Suspenders for James
    A pipe for my husband
    Its part of the game

    No matter how much I try
    The game wins in the end.
    My own worst enemy,
    In the news there's my marriage:
    I’ve accepted society's hand.




    Submitted on 2006-02-14 22:38:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "I love thee thrice, and once removed
    Add the Mona Lisa’s smile
    My modern attitude interferes
    Jazz and blues croon to me
    While Mozart leads me in a waltz"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
    That was brilliant.








    NOT!
    I love you.

    - Sethesin
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sorry, it actually is really special. The imagry is spectacular, I was drawn into it straight away. The sense of oppression in this is very strong "No matter how much I try the game wins in the end.
    My own worst enemy, in the news there's my marriage: I’ve accepted society's hand." its really nasty stuff, like being trapped in a mental institution.
    Also, it had a 50's housewife feel which I'm sure you where aiming for. My advice is to keep writing and posting here, your first poems will be ignored until you start contribuating more and more. Just keep going, you have exceptional talent.

    - Sethesin
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked your poem,the feel of it was wonderful everything flowed together so well. My favortite line is Jazz and blues croon to me while Mozart leads me in a waltz. I feel the same way.
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by MKAT | [ Reply to This ]



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