[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: He always wore blackdots

    Author: haileebobailee
    ASL Info:    18/F/NV
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 30/41/15
    Words: 231
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 818
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1313


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHe always wore blackdots

    I remember the song, the day, and your voice, off tune.
    Your bright blue eyes come to mind.
    I fell for you, the boy in black.
    You had shaggy brown hair and quirky charm.

    I knew I fell for you that day in August,
    you grabbed my hand and we jumped into the hotel swimming pool at midnight, fully clothed.
    Nights spent watching all of our favorite movies,
    but Fight Club was always our first choice.

    That black t-shirt that you loved so much, I still have it.
    It smells like you,
    a mix of sweat and Tommy cologne.

    You left your guitar at my house that day you serenaded me
    I sat on the floor and watched you play in the glow of the firelight,
    "Why does this night have to end? Why don’t we hit restart and pause it at our favorite parts, we’ll skip the goodbye."

    Well the good bye was skipped.
    You didn't call when you said you would but I sat by the phone anyway.
    You avoided my tears.
    I cried, but not for you, for me.
    You got the best of me this time.

    The song is over,
    my heart now broken
    and your guitar
    in pieces on my floor.

    Submitted on 2006-02-15 01:06:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow. this reminds me so much of me i am almost crying. i love the part about skipping the goodbye and leading that into him never calling. very clever.
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      its is fantastic. i really like it. theres something about this poem that, i dunno i guess i cant descrive it. but it has a charm to it. the tittle first got to me, i read it and realised i had to read it. great job
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Roula | [ Reply to This ]
      Something similar to this has happened to me. I know what it feels like to have this happen yet I find it hard to express the feelings. Well done and the title grabbed my attention. Very personal which is good
    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by BrokenStream | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    To written by SavedDragon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Bond written by saartha
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Push written by JanePlane
    Linger written by saartha
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    untitled written by Chelebel
    The Promise written by annie0888
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Giving written by jjd
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]