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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bleeding Mascaradots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dark-red-pain
    ASL Info:    18/F/Strayla
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 447/432/65
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1309
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 708



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBleeding Mascaradots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hide from the world in darkness
    Protected in tangled sheets
    Curling up to recoil from pain
    A broken heart continuing to beat

    I try to be something you want
    Painting my face to pretend
    Creating a mask to hide behind
    Just wanted to prevent the end

    Longing so deep inside me
    Nought could mean more to me
    Than your lips upon mine in the darkness
    Together under the sheets

    But ridicule is thrown from every direction
    They know you are all I'm after
    But like they care, they don't see the pain
    Or the tears fall with bleeding mascara

    -x-[So this is the end]-x-




    Submitted on 2006-02-15 01:31:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey u!!! yay u wrote new stuff! im so proud of u!! ok anyway!! long time no see! just thought id stop by! this was really sad!! i really really really like the title though it caught my attention!! i dont think theres really anythin wrong about this!! i am very much in like with the first stanza! good job!
    ~akaila~
    | Posted on 2006-05-12 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the second part the most, that sounds something like what I do, trying to be the best for the person you love hoping for them to want you more cause you are what they want, even though its not who you are, what you want, and what you want to be and do. And the only reason you did it so they wouldn't see the real you so they would never leave.

    Then I liked the first part the second most as you hide from the world, the truth, your own pain, you wrap up in your lies tring to hide the truth away so you don't have to face the truth even when its eating away at you, your heart is broken and you are trying to find the peices but it still hurts so much, you just cant get rid of the pain.

    Then I liked the last part the third most, but everyone thinks your a fool because of how you feel for someone, they insault you because of what you do, how you love, what you love, and why you love. But you only love that person and only them no one else, people lauph at you and kick you down when you feel bad, they don't see what lies inside, it hurts so much cause no one knows the turth, the pain that you keep inside, tears falling running away from your eyes just as you try to escape your pain, but as much as you let it out as much as you try to let it go, it just keeps coming back.

    And I liked the third part the forth most, But I dont feel like typing about it now cause my fingers hurt.

    Good poem, write more, its nice to read something good, THANK YOU FOR THE AWSOME POEM

    -Ryan PEACE OUT
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by the heartless | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm happy to see that you're getting better in your writing. It seems your rhmying is becoming more advanced. The meaning of the piece is yet again dark, I hope you don't feel this sad ALL the time.
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the way this is written. As obsidiandreams said, it has a lyrical sense to it that really works well for this piece. I like the wording, particularly of "protected in tangled sheets" and "or the tears fall with bleeding mascara"
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Cat | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece rings depressing thoughts once more through my mind running constant,

    it gives a good lyrical format, and it sounds awesome the words form in your head to create an image of tear drops simple but different in the way that they differ in only the level of anguish needed to be repeled, and to be vented from the aura of a being that sumone is

    great write, i hope you continue
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ]
      nice write, I mean really nice write. I believe this is one of the best writes I've heard in a while. I mean emotional wise not, well using metaphors, alliteration and all that crap. anyway, yeah, I relaly enjoyed this. So keep up the good work. THNX

    - Nammy

    P.S. I miss you writings... come back...
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]
      I take this write as a breakup poem
    I truefully believe you loved this person with all of your Heart
    As you start to let go of that Love
    Remember everything you learned from this relationship so it may carry you to another beautiful and Worthwhile Journey
    God Bless
    Ron
    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this because it wasn't the typical whiny poem. I appreciated the first stanza because it set the poem off really well.
    melancholymaid
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by melancholymaid | [ Reply to This ]
      I admire this poem. Black mascara and eyeliner really symbolize a lot to me. I have cried so much in my life that it seemsmy strength was measured by how many streams of black I had on my cheeks at the end of the day.

    Longing so deep inside me
    Nought could mean more to me
    Than your lips upon mine in the darkness
    Together under the sheets

    That is my truly absolute favorite stanza. "Nought" is a rarely used word in poetry that I read and I think it's very cool how you can put it into the poem without making the entire thing sound goofed, y'know? I really like this poem and I hope you check out my site soon.

    CAH
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by bloody_carebear | [ Reply to This ]
      I love that. I know way too well what you mean. It's sad.
    You know, just when I think your writing can't get any better, you always prove me wrong.

    The part:

    "Painting my face to pretend
    Creating a mask to hide behind"

    For some reason, reminds me of a song that says:
    "I play dead- to hide my heart,
    Until the world gone dark fades away.
    I stay dead- until you veil my scars
    And say goodbye to fate,
    Before it's too late."

    I don't know why though. It has nothing to do with it.
    I was just inspired to start singing, so I figured I'd share

    Anyways, once again, I'm saying 'Great job'
    Your talent fascinates me.
    Very beautifully done.

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww
    That's so sad. I like it.
    Stupid "they." I dont even know them and I hate them.
    I'm sad now.
    The wording is wonderful. I like that you found something to rhyme 'mascara' with. That's hard.
    I like this whole part:
    "Hide from the world in darkness
    Protected in tangled sheets
    Curling up to recoil from pain
    A broken heart continuing to beat"
    Be a great day
    If you have one good thing going for you, it's your lovely poetry.
    Peace
    -KaTe
    | Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by MyFairCalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      "Hide from the world in darkness
    Protected in tangled sheets
    Curling up to recoil from pain
    A broken heart continuing to beat"
    I like that line, it just caught my eye. I guess the reason is that I hide my emotions inside of my and on the outside I show calmness. Anyway great write. The title reminded me of the band Atreyu, because they have a song called Bleeding Mascara. Good title, good flow, it's just an all around good poem. Two thumbs up!
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]


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