Description: I am hoping to post a few poems in a local literary journal. I wanted a bit of feedback on the ones I hope to post for the journal, so I decided to post on elite. Please give some good feedback as well as title proposals. I need another title.
I like the imagery here. Let's the reader see through your eyes. I think it needs some tweeking at the end as well. Needs more substance to be effective. I think the title is fitting. After all, it is your work and I believe you should go with your feelings in a matter like this.