Description: Mostly I just want any thoughts on this one. As I said in my other post, I'm just looking for things to post in a local literary journal and need ideas.
I also need a title for this one.
I think the last two lines might need a bit of tweaking. The rest of the piece has a rhyme scheme to it and those last two dont fit with it. Also, the fourth line seems awkward as it is much shorter and has fewer syllables to it as the one before it and the others as well. Sorry, cant really think of a title. Thanks for sharing though.
How about "Attention for Depression" or "Depression for Attention" for a tiltle. Not saying that the person wants attention, but saying that the person is depressed about the current state of her life. Any attention is good attention. It's nice to know people know you're alive. It helps the everyday tribulations go down smoother.
Nice flow early on, kinda got lost in the last two lines a bit.