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The Maniac

Author: diabolicmaggot
ASL Info:    16/f/The depths of hell
Elite Ratio:    2.5 - 15 /26 /11
Words: 247
Class/Type: Random Thoughts /Death
Total Views: 830
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1543


I just don't get this world to day why would people do this kind of stuff?

The Maniac

The children play all day
Then it's time for bed
But something is not right
It starts to thunder
The house is silent
They here footsteps
Loud and heavy
Coming straight towards their room
The little boy and girl hide together in one bed
For something is not right
Something is unusual tonight
They here a dark, deep giggle
Their door creeks open slightly
They see eyes staring at them
The door now swings open
The children scream and scatter
They run right past him
He follows the little girl
She gets caught in a dead end
As the little boy runs he hears his sister's cries and pleas but then they stop
His eyes are wet from tears but he keeps on going
He runs to his parent's room
But they aren't there
He hides under the bed
Footsteps in the room
The maniac smiling and giggling
The boy holds his mouth shut in fear of making a noise
The footsteps suddenly stop
The maniac grabs the boy's foot and drags him from under the bed
He lets out his last scream before his throat is slit wide open
Hours past and the father walks around
He goes to where his daughter was slain
He shed a tear then moves on
He enters his bedroom and sheds another tear
He reaches in his closet pulling out a bloody knife
He cries out in pain
For he lost and caused three lives that night

Submitted on 2006-02-15 13:38:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  If this is a story shouldn't it be longer?
Well, anyway, it sounds more like a summary that you read on the back of a book than an actual story itself, unless that's what it's intended to be. And if that is, in fact, what it was intended to be, then it sounds interesting and I'm actually interested in the final product.

I wouldn't really count it as a story otherwise though, because it doesn't really have any sense of an ending where there's some kind of a resolution, whether it's the police come and arrest the maniac, or the maniac kills the kids, or whatever it is.

It'd be great if something more was done with this idea.

| Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Trifecta | [ Reply to This ]

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