Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Waiting Hour v2dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vagrant_AI
    ASL Info:    17/Male/Arizona, USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 9/13/23
    Words: 265
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 194
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1584



    Description:
       I decided to make a different version. Compare the two and tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Waiting Hour v2dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The creaking staircase give her away to turning of his heart
    Take hold if the body should leave and burn the command here and
    Become useless now, as engineer to struggle
    Should statement prove false as they would vanish
    You’d still go for the world as you’re leaving me now
    Don’t care of what should pass I’ll be coming home pretty soon
    Forgo looking back on Hitherto to watch them
    Collapse and crying to them, the gods

    Open the gate, Omega IV, my dreams tell truth of what’s ahead of him
    Sleep in the gate, Omega IV, her dreams tell truth of the granted she’s given

    Should gods’ presence push or pull you, Harold hold onto your gun
    Smile as not ready to defend yourself to a virgin hearing Sarah’s voice
    Don’t bear what cannot be seen picture meet pocket his progress
    Can I know position, God now owe me this

    Open the gate, Omega IV, my dreams tell truth of what’s ahead of him
    Sleep in the gate, Omega IV, her dreams tell truth

    Take hand as a memory at sea
    Maybe I will be able to help him, don’t let her wake now
    Take hand from unnoticed passage
    Tick slowly, so cruelly, clock loudly
    Waiting mute now

    Open the gate, Omega IV, my dreams tell truth of what’s ahead of him
    Sleep in the gate, Omega IV, her dreams tell truth of the granted she’s given

    Now
    You could mark in the works that they start
    Now
    You could mark in the works that they start




    Submitted on 2006-02-15 14:22:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this poem. I don't know why, but I really like it. If it is alright with you, I would like to post this elsewhere (and give you the credit, of course, since it is your poem). I can't totally explain the feeling. It is like, a mystery, a kind of fulfilling confusion. I don't know. It sounds like a young man has to leave his girlfriend/fiancee/wife to go fight in a war. At least that is how it kind of seems. I really like this one. I took a quick peek at the first one, and I have to say that this one is 10 times better than that one. v2 really worked for you.
    Keep up the wonderful poetry!
    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.