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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Whydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: night_angel
    ASL Info:    22/F/MI
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 188/242/100
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 908
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 423



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Full of pain
    w/ a wish to die
    I sit in the rain
    And wonder why
    I'm worthless
    w/emotions so bland
    And I must confess
    I don't understand
    Feelings of misery
    Now fill the hole
    Where once fit a key
    That unlocked my soul
    The key still belongs to you
    But no longer do I
    These reasons are few
    But they explain why




    Submitted on 2006-02-15 17:59:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was extremely impressive from the beginning to the end and I adored your last pair of lines. I liked the key analogy and personally I Think that with the flow it sounds better as it is. also though one very small (sorry if I'm being to nitpicky) change I might do is to write out with instead of w/ because i think it just looks better at first glance but other than that excellent write. one more thing is it could have maybe been a bit longer, just would have had more emotion and such but it's great as is. can't wait for the next one!
    peace
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm in love with this poem. i think its amazing. the only change i might suggest is that instead of "Where once fit a key" maybe "Where a key once fit"
    GREAT job!
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Roula | [ Reply to This ]
      This makes alot of sense, is easy to relate to, and stirrs up memories from the past. In other words, it's good. I agree with Roula though.
    Love,
    -Rob-
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by ThisIsReal | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece was good, at the beginning and end. The middle of it seemed to be missing a rhyme somewhere.
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]


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