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Author: night_angel
ASL Info:    22/F/MI
Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 188 /242 /100
Words: 66
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1109
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 423



Full of pain
w/ a wish to die
I sit in the rain
And wonder why
I'm worthless
w/emotions so bland
And I must confess
I don't understand
Feelings of misery
Now fill the hole
Where once fit a key
That unlocked my soul
The key still belongs to you
But no longer do I
These reasons are few
But they explain why

Submitted on 2006-02-15 17:59:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This was extremely impressive from the beginning to the end and I adored your last pair of lines. I liked the key analogy and personally I Think that with the flow it sounds better as it is. also though one very small (sorry if I'm being to nitpicky) change I might do is to write out with instead of w/ because i think it just looks better at first glance but other than that excellent write. one more thing is it could have maybe been a bit longer, just would have had more emotion and such but it's great as is. can't wait for the next one!
| Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
  i'm in love with this poem. i think its amazing. the only change i might suggest is that instead of "Where once fit a key" maybe "Where a key once fit"
GREAT job!
| Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Roula | [ Reply to This ]
  This makes alot of sense, is easy to relate to, and stirrs up memories from the past. In other words, it's good. I agree with Roula though.
| Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by ThisIsReal | [ Reply to This ]
  This piece was good, at the beginning and end. The middle of it seemed to be missing a rhyme somewhere.
| Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]

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