This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Why


Author: night_angel
ASL Info:    22/F/MI
Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 188 /242 /100
Words: 66
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1109
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 423



Description:




Why



Full of pain
w/ a wish to die
I sit in the rain
And wonder why
I'm worthless
w/emotions so bland
And I must confess
I don't understand
Feelings of misery
Now fill the hole
Where once fit a key
That unlocked my soul
The key still belongs to you
But no longer do I
These reasons are few
But they explain why




Submitted on 2006-02-15 17:59:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This was extremely impressive from the beginning to the end and I adored your last pair of lines. I liked the key analogy and personally I Think that with the flow it sounds better as it is. also though one very small (sorry if I'm being to nitpicky) change I might do is to write out with instead of w/ because i think it just looks better at first glance but other than that excellent write. one more thing is it could have maybe been a bit longer, just would have had more emotion and such but it's great as is. can't wait for the next one!
peace
| Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
  i'm in love with this poem. i think its amazing. the only change i might suggest is that instead of "Where once fit a key" maybe "Where a key once fit"
GREAT job!
| Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Roula | [ Reply to This ]
  This makes alot of sense, is easy to relate to, and stirrs up memories from the past. In other words, it's good. I agree with Roula though.
Love,
-Rob-
| Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by ThisIsReal | [ Reply to This ]
  This piece was good, at the beginning and end. The middle of it seemed to be missing a rhyme somewhere.
| Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



91485