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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Silent Roadsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wasif
    ASL Info:    18/m/Delhi
    Elite Ratio:    3.21 - 47/42/16
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 645
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 781



    Description:
       this piece has an intense feeling of lust-betrayal and guilt which is nevr again spoken on the silent roads that are!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSilent Roadsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In scarlet roses of dim sweet,
    Was lying a body,
    In tenderness of rawness-
    An intense Lust.
    The deepest valleys to be explored,
    In the hidden chambers.
    A shy-wet aura so smelt-
    to a day this far..
    ..I waited.
    portrayal of things-so usual,
    Yet in neatness of things-
    An agony-a spark that stood.
    Chiseled in the skill that was best,
    But the exploration- lunatic-
    and a chess had begun.
    For as i may recall it-
    as many memories I hold,
    Love that seemed Lust
    Nor a word- nor indebtness-
    upon the journey we shall leave,
    To a line no more shall I say,
    Just a reminiscence-
    As while, I walk-
    upon these Silent Roads that are.




    Submitted on 2006-02-15 20:53:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow!this was great i like it obviously.i liked the images it produced.once again it twas very good.keep writing i would enjoy reading more.
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by LostInYerTears | [ Reply to This ]
      Really, The poem itself was well written. The vocabulary was good, and the structure was well set up, but really, I couldn't pay attention al the way through. There is no action or anything in here to keep the reader's attention. More action or emotion would benefit this poem greatly. We're poets, not robots. Buck up, try again, it'll be better next time.
    Wishing for more
    -Brian
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good imagry and great vocabulary! I enjoyed it *holds two thumbs up*
    The part that caught my breath was where you said
    "Yet in neatness of things-
    An agony-a spark that stood.
    Chiseled in the skill that was best,
    But the exploration- lunatic-
    and a chess had begun."

    To me that just is well-written and has some meaning...
    catch you later...
    -claire
    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good word usage.They were just right to tell the readers in a intresting way what you mean. I love how you used "a valley to be explored". Keep writing.
    | Posted on 2006-02-18 00:00:00 | by KelseyJo | [ Reply to This ]


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