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    dots Submission Name: you wouldn't would youdots

    Author: bloodied_angel
    ASL Info:    15/Female/Oklahoma
    Elite Ratio:    2.63 - 79/119/44
    Words: 234
    Class/Type: Rant/Depressed
    Total Views: 848
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1278

       i dont know just comment

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsyou wouldn't would youdots

    who can count the stars in the sky
    who could have told her she would live to die
    who could have explained to her his warm imbrase
    who would have told her of the look on moms face

    would you have told the little girl
    that her parents would die
    and her life would unfirle

    would you have told her that as daddys little girl,
    that she would see daddy drunk and passed out on the floor

    would you have told her as mommys little angel
    that mommy would leave her in the arms of another

    would you tell the six year old with the baby doll in her arms
    that those arms would be scared arms by the time she was 12

    would you explain to her a over dose
    and thats her best friend would eventulay do

    would you have explaind a broken heart
    being left alone by a man who still hold her heart

    would you have told me then my white knight would come
    wisk me away and save me from my self
    could you have told me it would be okay if you knew what was comming to me

    i now that even if i knew peace would come
    i probly could not look at my youger self
    and tell me ill be ok

    Submitted on 2006-02-16 19:04:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Except for the first stanza, which doesn't seem to add much, this is pretty good. I don't think you should bother trying to rhyme it though. It doesn't need it. A very good message, expressed well. That's all you need really.
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by herrbench | [ Reply to This ]
      wow..this is a really powerful poem. i like it a lot i think you did a great job. it really brings out an emotion from me, the reader.
    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by Roula | [ Reply to This ]

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