The Beast Took Control
You said you were so scared and you wished I was there,
You say you needed a friend as the pain filled your voice with despair.
You tell me the cancer is back; you’re not sure you can fight but you want to try,
Your voice breaks as you hope to control the tears but you started to cry,
You’ve been in the hospital for ten days with a tube stuck in your side,
With the cancer literally eating you up from the inside.
I flew out to see you, to help and try to make you smile,
I thought I could take away some of confusion for awhile.
The treatment makes you sick but not like it was before,
However, the effects upon you, one could not ignore.
You looked so tired, so lost within; not the friend I knew you to be,
I tried to remain strong but cried at night, as the fear took a hold of me.
I sat by your side as we talked about the crazy things we used to do,
I was trying to get the smile to reach your eyes, the way it used to.
We talked about what you worried most about; we talked about your fears,
We were trying to cling to any form of hope through all of the tears.
At night I cried alone, as I tried to cope and maybe understand,
How was I to help your kids or help the man that wears your wedding band?
The cancer spread- brain tumors were found and a new treatment you had to start,
I watched your future shatter, your world completely torn apart.
You asked me to talk to the girls, for you didn’t think that you could,
Telling them the cancer spread to their mom’s brain, hoping they only understood.
I watched you and the one you loved sobbing as both realized forever would never be,
I staggered back as I literally felt my heart burst inside of me.
You said you could see your funeral in your head when you closed your eyes,
So we sat and planned- while trying to control our grief stricken cries.
You told me what song you wanted played, who you wanted to carry you to your grave,
I wrote it all down, asking all the questions, trying to show you that I could be brave.
I was watching you die- I was loosing one of my closest friends,
Clinging only to the thought that true friendship never ends.
You told me to tell your girls that they were your happiness; they lit up your life,
To thank your husband for loving you and taking you as his wife.
You asked me to speak at your funeral for I was good with words; I would know what say,
I wrote it all down but never truly believed it would come to that day.
I fought to control my voice when I told you that you’d always be a part of who I am,
But still believing you could beat it, we just have to wait and see with the next exam.
The chemo, the pills and radiation- they did all they could do,
But the beast had finally taken complete and total control of you.
As the devastation sets in- my life will never be as it was before.
Because cancer took your life; you just weren’t strong enough to fight anymore…