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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Guardian Failsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkstar9500
    ASL Info:    18/male/Missouri
    Elite Ratio:    3.36 - 39/56/19
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 742
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 506



    Description:
       I want to protect her from others who hurt her. Protect her from the words they say, but I can't. And it kills me that I can't. Only the one who she loves more than me can do that. And that kills even more.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Guardian Failsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Darkness surrounds the one I love.
    I come closer, the darkness grabs
    my soul, ignites in dark flames.
    I find her, but there's no escape.

    My soul looks for a way out of
    the darkness, but there's no escape.
    I must find a way out for my
    love. I can not. There's no escape.

    A light shines through the darkness
    A love of my love comes to save.
    She is safe, I am marked with
    darkness. The Guardian fails.




    Submitted on 2006-02-17 00:05:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Aw, that was a sweet poem. Dark and mysterious/sweet. I like the subject, like the whole thing it is about. How you are trying to save her from the words and just other people. i thought It flowed pretty nice and I liked how it sounded. Good job
    inkpen
    | Posted on 2006-02-17 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm... ive got say it would've been a good poem if the breaks were placed properly. for example:

    Darkness surrounds the one I love.
    I come closer,
    the darkness grabs my soul,
    ignites in dark flames.
    I find her,
    but there's no escape

    My soul looks for a way out of the darkness,
    but there's no escape.
    I must find a way out for my love.
    I can not.
    There's no escape.

    see how it makes more sense? well thats what i woul've done but you dont have to take my advice if you dont like it. whatever. I like the poem.

    fellow poet,
    Harmageddon
    | Posted on 2006-02-18 00:00:00 | by Harmageddon | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really sweet and very mysterious at the same time. The flow was good and I can't find and grammar or spelling errors so that's a plus...um, so overall I really liked it. Thanks for posting.
    | Posted on 2006-02-18 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]


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    91701

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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