Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Your Favorite Wine


Author: Black Rock Tractor
Elite Ratio:    3.78 - 555 /824 /140
Words: 79
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 2387
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 537



Description:




Your Favorite Wine



My words went deep like an arrow I couldn’t pull out.
You questioned
Things believed, and
You panicked upon questioning
Only to find yourself lost
Between spontaneity and
Love.

The pasta is almost ready,
and the movie is stopped
At the end of the previews.
I know you like this shirt, and tonight
We will get drunk
On your favorite wine.
Tonight
We will fuck for hours,
And the arrow will come out the other side.




Submitted on 2004-05-01 10:13:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  i love this poem... i've been meaning to comment on it for ages but i never got round to doing it.
i wouldnt change a word in it. i think this is one of your best.
i cant say why or point out specific lines or really give you a useful comment.. but there is something about this poem .. and it's something that practically hits you in the face everytime you read it.. it's the kind of poem that makes me wish i had written something like it.
| Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by girlinthephoto | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey, it's funny how you find great writes through great writers...I was visiting girlinthephoto's page and found you in her favorites...the title seduced my curiosity, and I sidestepped into your world of raw passion and wine and harsh reality of romantic emotion...Very glad to take this unexpected journey. The second part is the strongest, I think...I love how you discuss the present...the dinner ready (pasta...how seductive and almost verbally aromatic) and the way you know that the wine and the shirt will add to the assured physical passion..."I know you like this shirt, and tonight
We will get drunk
On your favorite wine."
So raw...so beautiful...so real! I love that. You have inspired me...and intrigued me...
This is a wonderful glimpse into the world of lovers with great passion...whether lasting or momentary. I am finding that my favorites list is getting far too long...but I can't risk losing great work like this! I must thank girlinthephoto.
Annie
| Posted on 2005-06-13 00:00:00 | by Anniehodgkiss | [ Reply to This ]
  there's so much i love about this: pain and pleasure, shirts and food and wine - i feel like it's saying, "stop me if you've heard this one before" but with words that don't mean that at all. (meaning, it's been done, but never quite like this) it really hits harder the more you read it, the more you make it apply to your life. great write! =]

~Blue
| Posted on 2004-05-07 00:00:00 | by blueorchids | [ Reply to This ]
  Black Rock Tractor,

This is perfect. Raw and real and breath taking. Those last few lines are simply brilliant. A definite favorite.

I'm loving your work so far. Thanks for sharing.

drowning_queen
| Posted on 2006-06-15 00:00:00 | by drowning_queen | [ Reply to This ]
  seems to be taken out of normal life. that's great. your image with the arrow works well and I like how you describe the situation. it's almost like I'm there. no real criticism here.
| Posted on 2004-05-01 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
  I think this poem needs some work. It didn't have a very good structure, although it was really nice. It was good, although I'd look for better wording to use on this topic...
~Jaime Lee Pachétte~
| Posted on 2004-05-01 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]
  "you have a deep voice!"
"....deep like my penetration"
Theres no quicker route into a chics knickers than the discussion of her personal life over her favorite wine...the best part...they usually like that cheap [censored].
Outstanding write.
-MyX
| Posted on 2004-05-31 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



9174