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    dots Submission Name: reality of minedots

    Author: Rue
    ASL Info:    16/F/the dark side
    Elite Ratio:    4.54 - 244/182/44
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1194
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 585

       Some crazy thing I wrote ont he back of my civics homework after gym class. It's kind of about being stuck without an escape from reality, it hit me when I was just staring at the plain, ugly lockers, completely unelevated and bored.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsreality of minedots

    It's a flat reality
    echoing empty phrases
    of compassionless mortality
    screaming for remorse.

    It's exterior is blinding
    Though bleeding entrails claim
    there is no darker enemy
    and no one is to blame.

    There is nothing to be done
    But brood, tune it out
    It takes a voice much stronger
    to embrace going without.

    Endorphins spawned in dreams
    Torment this Nightmare Queen
    Taunting memories drown their screams
    Paying for pain and subliminal distraction.

    Submitted on 2006-02-17 17:50:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      So your the girl version of me, pleased to meet you. I liked this alot, I write crap like this all the time but this one sticks out to me. The way you address a different reality "It's a flat reality
    echoing empty phrases" the one that fades in when your on your own and have nothing else to think about, its scary [censored].
    So basically what I mean is I can relate to this.

    - Sethesin

    ( I like your hippie avatar, adds a cool vibe about you and your poetry. You look at things with older eyes)
    | Posted on 2006-02-17 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, you lost me. You got all these words from looking at a locker? This was dark and hard to dicepher. I think this lacked subtanance and clarity. I could not enjoy this because it was so thrown together to me. this had alot of pretty words...but that was all it had going for it. I hope I don't offend you with my critiquing. I am just telling you how I view this poem. No harm intended.

    | Posted on 2006-02-17 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      This my Friend is truefully a deep write
    When I read you wrote this from seeing a locker I was Spellbound
    The use of the words you used and the emotion you captured our fantastic
    I certainly am looking forward to more writes from you
    And by the way the drawing matched perfectly with the write
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2006-02-18 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

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