Description: Eyes too Wide for Sights is intended to supplement this submission. If you read both you're get +100 Awesome Points (this makes you far more awesome than you already are).
The Duelist -------------------------------------------
I rest my soul
In the darkest and blackest
The deepest and most infinite
Space that one may ever find
Which is also the place that is
Everywhere
With garments tattered
My will still vigilant
Boots weathered
And well traveled
And well trained
In the arts of the day
And its many twisting paths
I carry on
From up here I can see
Its all going on without me
And I’m coming down…
My focus shifts and convergence
Rearranges a logical thought process
We’re all so ordinary
It doesn’t matter
We’re all so extraordinary
It doesn’t matter
Cause from up here I see
Its not a place I really belong
I carry on
With this shining coat
That once clad me in the
unbroken beauty of Dreams
that I now see chiseled and
hardened by skirmishes past
I should’ve seen it all along
I carry on
From up here I can see
It all going on without me
From up here I can see
It doesn’t matter
Cause from up here I see
Its not a place I really belong
I should have seen it all along
I should have seen it all along
I should have seen it all along
I do agree with DavidHirt about how its hard to judge lyrics without the music...sometimes songs are completely amazing with the music, but the lyrics make no sense to you...and vice-versa
right, back on topic. The first bit came off really clear to me...nice imagery with lines such as:
"With garments tattered My will still vigilant Boots weathered And well traveled And well trained"
it got a bit more confusing as it went on. That could be because I can be pretty dense with poetry sometimes so...you've been warned.
To me I get the image of someone who has died in battle and is looking down from the heavens and relfecting on the fight/scenes going on below and realizing that we are all people, wether emporeor or peasant, and in the end are equal...like the qoute "The king and the pawn go back in the same box" Thats the concept coming across to me
could be wrong though...
it got me thinking, and that is always a pleasure when reading poetry
I'm feeling some tension between the title of your song and the content. The image the song gives is of a Knight out against the whole world, or at least groups, while the title implies one on one confrontation. I think that you might want to address that disparity, perhaps with a new title. Other than that, I think the lyrics are strong. I'm sure the music you have them set to works well. It's hard to only judge the lyrics of a song without any music to here how they are sung.
Submission Name: The Duelist
