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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Duelistdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AtrophyEmpathos
    ASL Info:    19 M California
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 45/55/29
    Words: 230
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 714
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1505



    Description:
       Eyes too Wide for Sights is intended to supplement this submission. If you read both you're get +100 Awesome Points (this makes you far more awesome than you already are).


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Duelistdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I rest my soul
    In the darkest and blackest
    The deepest and most infinite
    Space that one may ever find
    Which is also the place that is
    Everywhere

    With garments tattered
    My will still vigilant
    Boots weathered
    And well traveled
    And well trained
    In the arts of the day
    And its many twisting paths
    I carry on



    From up here I can see
    Its all going on without me


    And I’m coming down…


    My focus shifts and convergence
    Rearranges a logical thought process

    We’re all so ordinary
    It doesn’t matter

    We’re all so extraordinary
    It doesn’t matter

    Cause from up here I see
    Its not a place I really belong

    I carry on


    With this shining coat
    That once clad me in the
    unbroken beauty of Dreams
    that I now see chiseled and
    hardened by skirmishes past
    I should’ve seen it all along

    I carry on



    From up here I can see
    It all going on without me

    From up here I can see
    It doesn’t matter

    Cause from up here I see
    Its not a place I really belong


    I should have seen it all along
    I should have seen it all along
    I should have seen it all along

    I carry on.




    Submitted on 2006-02-18 05:34:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I do agree with DavidHirt about how its hard to judge lyrics without the music...sometimes songs are completely amazing with the music, but the lyrics make no sense to you...and vice-versa

    right, back on topic. The first bit came off really clear to me...nice imagery with lines such as:

    "With garments tattered
    My will still vigilant
    Boots weathered
    And well traveled
    And well trained"

    it got a bit more confusing as it went on. That could be because I can be pretty dense with poetry sometimes so...you've been warned.

    To me I get the image of someone who has died in battle and is looking down from the heavens and relfecting on the fight/scenes going on below and realizing that we are all people, wether emporeor or peasant, and in the end are equal...like the qoute "The king and the pawn go back in the same box" Thats the concept coming across to me

    could be wrong though...

    it got me thinking, and that is always a pleasure when reading poetry

    good write
    -mystmaker
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by MystMaker | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm feeling some tension between the title of your song and the content. The image the song gives is of a Knight out against the whole world, or at least groups, while the title implies one on one confrontation. I think that you might want to address that disparity, perhaps with a new title. Other than that, I think the lyrics are strong. I'm sure the music you have them set to works well. It's hard to only judge the lyrics of a song without any music to here how they are sung.
    | Posted on 2006-02-18 00:00:00 | by DavidHirt | [ Reply to This ]


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