I love your diction in the second stanza. It gives it a mood of dark, gloomy isolation. I would probably change "with no light" to "without any light." With no light just seems awakward there.
This does make me think though, of how many people really are out there just looking for the easy way out of things. Especially in today's fast paced society. Everything is "get rich quick" "loose weight fast" "you can do this effortlessly with (name of product)." A more recent line that has popped up in adds is "You deserve." I hate that. Nobody "deserves" to have anything. Sure it might make life a litte eaiser to have that better grill, but it is not necessary. This world has gone too far. Everyone is turning into a narcicist.
hey, what makes you think everyone is unhappy? I often look at people and wonder just how productive they seem, women in pencil line skirts about 'blouses', men with briefcases. I find comfort in the fact they might just have as much turmoil as anyone else, but they just don't show it.
Many of are always searching for things. Some things which we know we might never find and others that aren't in the reach at the moment. Sometimes we might get even more lost searching for answers. That's what i got from reading your poem. Keep up the good work.
p.s I hope i came close to what you were trying to relate.
Yeah, it seems to me that people are an infinitely interesting subject for writing (and behavioral experiments). Perhaps that is why i am finally deciding on a grad degree (and career) in counseling psychology. As you know, i'm fresh out of rehab, and i conducted a few experiments of my own while i was in there. I once secretly put a time schedule up by the phones to see what would happen. First there was a narcissistic anti-social who loudly protested....naturally, because he was the one routinely on the phone for 35 minutes at a time (not the alotted 10)....so he slammed the receiver and snapped the hanger off. Then of course the tweekers were crawling the floors in search of the missing little plastic peice. The alcoholic control-freaks were standing over them, arms crossed, trying to supervise the search. Occassionally one of the aloof potheads would wander through asking what happened, but not offer any help in the search, only standing in the way. Me....i just sat up on the radiator warming my azz and laughing on the inside...all the while escalating the fiasco.
It seems to me that there is no easy street in life. My first week out it has occurred to me that whenever no strife exists, we will literally invent something to fill the spot. Life would simply be so uninteresting otherwise.
There certainly can be no illumination without struggle. Though, that doesn't mean we have to perpetually exist in it. Even the smallest of joys can teach all our turmoil to relax and have a rest.
This is a good poem. I like what you have said here and it really is true. There are lots of people who never actually find what they are looking for regardless of how hard and long they search. I find it interesting to sit and watch people sometimes. They are the most interesting with so many behaviors. This poem could be interpreted on many different levels of significance. They could be searching for the love of their life, or they could be me, walking aimlessly around the grocery store looking for something because they have moved everything around....I hate that. I never understood why it is that once you know where everything is in the store, they go and move it. Must be their kind of humor or something. Hee hee! But seriously, this is a good and well written poem. Take care.
"Oh the multitude of lost souls Pilgrims in a purgatory of black holes" < these lines really stood out to me, and are well stated.
This brings in mind's view a sadness that we all have and carry with us, even when things are going right in our world, it remains in the background.
I have indeed done some "people watching" in my time. I wrote my first poem (as one who dreams) about that while sitting in a WalMart parking lot. It's amazing the differences in people.. yet in a lot of ways we're all the same.
Ohh. I thought that was pretty good. I've never sat in a public place before just watching people, because they would probably notice.....Small town, I think everyone notices everything. I really like what you were writing about, how "will they every find what they seek?" Its really just everyone is look for something. I thought it was really interesting to read. Good job inkpen
i can relate to what you have written, i have an hour to kill in the mornings before college starts so i sit outside the coffee shop in town, and watch people walking by, i have written a poem called the old man shuffles, bu just watching him, i like your poem, its unique, thanx again x x x x
I can relate to your poem. I have sat and watched people and it is amazing what you see. Some times you see that your situation is not so bad after all. Your poem made me think about the world that we live in. Good job. MM2005
This is really nice. It is often that we are always worried about our own lives that we don't really look around us. When we finally decided to stop for a while, just take a break and relax, it is then we realize that we are actually not that much different from others.