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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Consciencedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: drkpoet
    ASL Info:    21/m/NJ
    Elite Ratio:    3.04 - 442/527/94
    Words: 195
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 216
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1255



    Description:
       nothin more, nothing less writing to get it off my chest...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsConsciencedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Today life is in your hands.

    You have an option.

    Bury yourself deep in the sands.

    Closed inside your own built coffin.



    The walls continue to close

    Deep within hell you call life

    Go ahead, kill yourself no one has to know

    In the kitchen, grab the sharpest knife.



    Tears of death crepe inside

    Your hell filled head;

    What are you talking about? You have no pride

    Go for it, no one cares your dead.



    Life is fill with options

    Mom didn’t have to keep her son

    She could have put you up for adoption

    But then I wouldn’t have all this fun.



    Conscience huh?

    Is that what you think I am?

    Duh

    I’m the only one that gives a damn.



    Thus I give you another choice

    For life always has two directions

    Speak up for yourself, use your voice.

    For that will give you brand new connections…..



    DrkPoet





    Submitted on 2006-02-18 21:24:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      still great with the words I see, I really liked this, I thought that it was well structured, well written and an overall great way to handle the topic, but you have had that for years!!!!you did have a typo with the word creep. that is the only thing not great about this work!
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really cool idea for a poem. It's like 'here are your two options, 1 be a coward, 2 deal and realize that you're alive.' Let me know if I got that wrong. This was definitly a great idea, but some of your ryhming seems a little forced in areas such as
    'Conscience huh?

    Is that what you think I am?

    Duh

    I’m the only one that gives a damn.'
    Nice job though:)
    | Posted on 2006-02-18 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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