Well, until recently, I've been with the same person for 3 1/2 years.... we were engaged to be married and everything, but then I realised that I wasnt as happy as I once was with this person. so, I tried and tried to get back to where we were.... but nothing seemed to work. so, I thought it would be better for both of us, if I ended it now, before we ended up 20 years into the relationship, with kids and what not. *sigh* it was a really hard thing to do, and he begged me not to go, he begged me not to throw away the last 4 years of "our" lives. I almost gave in, and tried again to work it out, but seeing the pain in his eyes, and the tears that were falling, I couldnt bare to put him through that again, if it didnt work out for a second time. It was better to let him hurt for a few days, and be done with it, than to give him false hope that things were going to work out.... when I knew they never would. So, I decided to move on with my life, be alone for awhile, and learn how to stand on my own two feet as "me" rather than "us"
Unfortunately, things don't always work out as planned. A couple of weeks after the break up between my fiance and I, an old friend walked into my life. Well, I say friend, but he is actually someone I went on a few dates with several years ago. Never the less, Things began to happen, and before I knew it, I found myself starting to develope feelings for this person, feelings that I swore to myself that I wouldn't have for awhile. By the time I realised it, it was too late to try to stop them from happening, and honestly, I'm not really sure I want to.
For several years, while I was with my fiance, I felt dead inside, completely numb to all feelings, and not caring about myself, let alone anyone else. I fell into this depression that really killed my soul. I didn't care how I looked, I didn't care what people thought of me, I didn't care about anything. I basically laid down, and waited for death to come and take me away. I had given up on everything, even the people who loved me.
But then when this man from the past walked through the door, things started to change. slowly but surely, I could feel the want, and need to live, come back to me. For the first time, in along time.... I felt like getting up, and fighting the depression, fighting to win my life back, and this time, I dont feel like I'm fighting alone. Maybe he wont be in my life forever, the way I use to hope my fiance would be, and if it comes to that, it will make me sad. but never again will a lay down and give up on my life, and the people around me that care for me. Right now, I feel as though he's an angel sent from God above... to show me there are still reasons to live, to love and to cherish life. |
Submission Name: Live, Love and Cherish life.
