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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Riot Madden
    ASL Info:    16/f/ok
    Elite Ratio:    4.36 - 15/21/11
    Words: 611
    Class/Type: Rant/Alone
    Total Views: 972
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2814



    Description:
       okay well this is actually a note i wrote one of my friends im going through a really hard time now and this note i thought could work as a poem so i thought i might try it what do you think? COMMENTs PLEASE!!!!!!!!! but dont be to harsh- i couldnt decide how to split it up if any suggestions please tell.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    my worlds crumbling into pieces and i cant catch them, my perfect little glass castle is now shattered. My world is turned upside down and is spinning out of control, i cant seem to stop it or slow it down. My world is changing so fast and i didnt see it coming. Ive ducked back into the confort of my own shadows and am now trapped with no one to turn to or no where to go. Im lost with out directions. All the lights have burned out. Theres no longer any light at the end of the tunnel. I dont know whether to turn around and go back the other way or to stop right where i am and wallow in my misery or give up and call it good. Take the cowards way out. Then i could always trudge on and see where i end up. I am so confused i dont know what to do. Everyones turned there backs on me. I lay in bed at night crying myself to sleep. My emotions are drained , my body starving for food, my eyes bloodshot from lack of rest. My grades suffering, things i cared most about no longer an enjoyment. Have i really sunk so low? Have i really ended up here? What is this so foreighn yet so familiar place? Im screaming yet no one can here me. My eyes pleading for someone to stop and talk to me, to show me im still alive, that my feeling matter even if its only for a few seconds. Smile at me, wave at me, give me some kind of recognition. Prove to me that there is hope, there is reason to go on. That each breath i take isnt for nothing. There is something to live for, something to die for. That love and happiness isnt just in the movies. That my words do not fall on deaf ears. My thoughts are meaningful not useless. Im scared of the outcome, my brain will not stop thinking. Past, present, future dosnt matter its there. My cheeks are tear stained, my heart is broken and burdened. My brains on switch is stuck in the on position, my hands no longer have feeling. Is this to much to ask from you? Is this to much for you to handle? I dont want to be a burden. Time goes by so slow, a second lasting what seems like forever. Will tomarrow ever get here? Will the sun once again shine? Will the clouds depart and the rain stop? Will i shake it off and start all over? Why are there so many questions left unanswered? Will you be the one to come to my rescue? Will you save me? Is there even anything left to save or actually is there anything worth saving? Should i stop you or just let you put a band-aid on it? Please someone save me, dont erase me. Dont give up hope. Show me itll be okay. Im scared oh so scared. Im left to my own devices. Please dont leave me alone. SHow me how to care again. Teach me to smile, to laugh, to be happy. Dont give up hope. I need love , i need friendship and i dont know where to get it. Teach me, show me, please, im begging




    Submitted on 2006-02-19 10:54:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Your writing has so much emotion and I applaud you for being brave enough to share how you are feeling with us. This can't have been easy for you to write or submit. I wish I could help you come through the other side, but I expect you know that ultimately, you are the only person who will be able to do that for you. In the meantime, writing poetry such as this, will help with the healing process but, and this is only my opinion, perhaps rather than giving this to a friend, who may find it very upsetting, perhaps giving it to a student counsellor would serve you better? Please don't take that the wrong way, I just feel you badly needed to talk to someone who will be able to help you, to help yourself.

    As regards your poem, I would suggest something like this;

    My world crumbles into pieces I can't catch,
    a perfect little glass castle lays shattered
    My world is upside down, spinning out of control
    I cant stop it or slow it down
    I didn't see it coming from the comfort of my shadow.

    I am trapped with no one to turn to
    no-where to go
    I am lost with out direction
    The lights have burned out
    There's no light at the end of the tunnel.
    Do I turn around and go back the other way
    or stop where i am and wallow in my misery?
    Do I give up and call it good?
    Take the cowards way out?
    Do trudge on and see where i end up?
    I am confused
    I dont know what to do.

    Everyone has turned their back on me
    I lay in bed at night crying myself to sleep
    My emotion is drained
    My body starving for food
    My eyes bloodshot from lack of rest
    My grades suffer
    Things i cared about, no longer an enjoyment Have i really sunk so low?
    Have i really ended up here?
    What is this so foreign yet so familiar place?

    I'm screaming yet no one can here me
    My eyes pleading for someone to stop and talk Show me im still alive
    that my feelings matter if only for a second Smile at me, wave at me,
    Give me some recognition
    Prove to me that there is hope
    There is reason to go on
    That each breath i take isn't for nothing
    There is something to live for,
    something to die for
    That love and happiness isnt just in the movies That my words do not fall on deaf ears
    My thoughts are meaningful not useless

    Im scared of the outcome
    My brain will not stop thinking
    Past, present, future doesn't matter...it's there

    My cheeks are tear stained,
    my heart broken and burdened
    My brain switch is stuck in the on position
    My hands no longer have feeling
    Is this to much to ask from you?
    Is this too much for you to handle?
    I dont want to burden you.

    Time goes by so slow
    A second lasting what seems like forever
    Will tomorrow ever get here?
    Will the sun once again shine?
    Will the clouds depart and the rain stop?
    Will i shake it off and start all over?
    Why are so many questions left unanswered? Will you be the one to come to my rescue?
    Will you save me?
    Is there even anything left to save?
    Is there anything worth saving?
    Should i stop you?
    Should I let you put a band-aid on it?

    Please someone save me, dont erase me
    Dont give up hope
    Show me it will be okay
    Im scared...oh so scared
    Im left to my own devices
    Please dont leave me alone
    Show me how to care again
    Teach me to smile, to laugh, to be happy
    Dont give up hope
    I need love , I need friendship
    I dont know where to get it
    Teach me, show me, please
    I'm begging you...

    I hope my suggestion is ok with you. It's probably not to everyone's taste but more importantly, it may not be to your taste either and this is obviously a very important write for you.

    Don't give up hope, you are a unique person, there is only one of you, now that's special... you are special! Take care of yourself. Mel.
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by litllost | [ Reply to This ]


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