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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Going Nowheredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 362
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1114
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2346



    Description:
       This is a long one, 93 lines. Portions of this began over thirty years ago, so it is also the longest time it has taken me to write a piece. The lines are short. So the form is part of the metaphor, long, narrow and uneven.

    It is along the theme of The Road Less Traveled or The Long and Winding Road. The concept is not new. However, the difference is that this one is my life.

    I hope you enjoy it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGoing Nowheredots
    -------------------------------------------


    Going nowhere…
    on the quest for
    quiet nothingness,
    that is the
    fullness of love.

    Repeatedly, in some
    unpredicted rhythm
    I am detoured
    and redirected
    to different
    destinations.

    My way is a
    curious country road
    that no one
    paused to pave,
    with faded tracks
    of forgone tread,
    resisting rampant rain.

    I often take
    to the unmarked
    and overlooked,
    to know the unknown
    and experience
    the unknowable,
    to see but never own.

    I wonder why
    a road exists,
    where could it
    possibly go?
    There is one choice
    that shows me,
    the only way to know.
    I packed my bag
    and am traveling it.

    I dreamt of
    roads that lead
    somewhere,
    through pristine
    green valleys
    in the shadow
    of grand
    mountain stones, beside
    white water flows
    lined with flowers
    gone wild,
    or stretching across
    a wide river bridge
    emerging to a "here".
    Those remain traveler's
    fantasies for me.

    My path is paved
    in short stretches.
    The showers
    draw curtains
    around my vision
    and leave me
    struggling in mud.
    This is no tourist trip.

    Often the passages
    shrink to paths,
    not trails, just traces
    in dirt or damp
    brown grass,
    steps raising the scents
    of loam and loneliness

    I fold my itinerary
    into an origami
    ornament and
    tie it to a tree.
    If you notice
    creative images
    hanging about,
    look to see
    if they are
    from me.

    On occasion
    there is a village
    that lets me rest,
    an honored guest.

    Still, it is not
    long until
    I am renewed
    and must be on
    with the quest for
    quiet nothingness,
    the emptiness
    that is all,
    the absence
    of all else
    that leaves me with
    the fullness of love
    I am going nowhere…
    slow.




    Submitted on 2006-02-19 15:08:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      very zen Chrystine.. i love

    the quest for
    quiet nothingness,
    the emptiness
    that is all,
    the absence
    of all else
    that leaves me with
    the fullness of love..

    it reminds me a little of my hermit write and also of a book i'm reading, The
    Way Of The Peaceful Warrior..

    there is much to be seen and experience in the world, even the mud puddles...the key is to have an open heart and that "peaceful warrior" soul that
    seeks experience everywhere.
    i'll keep a look out for that "origami itinerary."
    that's clever.

    this makes me take a deep breath and then
    sigh a contented sigh...

    peace&love,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Chrystine
    This one caught my attention right from the start
    The way you worded this journey and put it into word
    Simply brilliant
    My favorite part was the oragami
    I have a funny feeling that was white paper you used for that because then you will always have the Light to guide you
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, it's long... but it.. well, something is missing. I feel what your trying to say, but i dont feel... well, it's like you ordered mocha and got chocolate. It's close, but not there yet. But do keep it up. You've done a great job so far...
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by diamonds_2_dust | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this, but yes, it was long and it sort of lacks focus. I mean, I think I see what you were trying to say but then again, I'm not sure.

    you have some really great lines in here and it fosters some wonderful images. maybe if you pared it down and zeroed in on going nowhere journey instead of just wandering about. I know that might have been your intention and all but I think the poem loses effect because of it.

    no offense. it has mucho potential. and lovely thoughts in it.

    there. hopefully I was constructively critical.
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one a lot. I got so much out of reading this one. To me, it is a lifelong journey. And even the form of the poem is like following the road of life. It all just seems to tie in together and you have expressed your self and your experiences well with your words. The uncertainty and even the disappointments experienced are here. Sort of like a bumpy ride over life's unpaved road. You have captured a variety of emotions and feelings here and I would imagine this one took some time to write. Sort of like puting your entire life experience into one poem. Very well done. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      This was like reading my old jouranls! I liked the way you took the reader through all your experiences and gave vivid details on how the journay has been, what you are looking for, and how you plan to find it. Very nicely written. I hope you make it to where you are going in search of. Great flow and imagery. A very good write.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      ooooh I like... yes indeed very zen, but very beautiful. At first I thought the line breaks were choppy, but actually they gave it this nice balanaced kind of feel. And I loooove your alliteration =^..^= t makes it sooo nice and wonderful to read. Thank you! It didn't actually feel long at all. ~Cora Windover
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ]


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