Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Beauitful Forestdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hidden_cry
    ASL Info:    16/female/canada
    Elite Ratio:    2.74 - 23/25/13
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 139
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 856



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeauitful Forestdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the beauitful forest,
    I am here,
    Where the beauity dances in the wind,
    And I am free.
    To dance with the flowers and sign with the animals.
    Here in this forest I am Safe,
    Away from the razor blade kisses and the monsters sceaming.
    In this beauitful forest they wont take me,
    Back to the sceaming monsters,
    I call my home,
    In this forest
    I will hide,
    So I can be free,
    To dance in the wind,
    And see this beauitful world,
    Through my eyes.
    In this beauitful forest
    The razor blade kisses wont get me,
    They can't tare me apart,
    And I wont be afaird.
    In this beauitful forest,
    I am here,
    I am free,
    I am safe,
    To dance in the wind,
    Without the razor blade kisses.





    Submitted on 2006-02-19 18:42:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ok this was good! i liked it! but replace the razor blade kisses with something else! to me it didnt really fit with da forest and kinda through the flow off! but its good and has potentional to be great( i totally now i spelled that wrong)
    ~akaila~
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      It has good content, but to much repetition. It sort of sounds like a bad record. Maybe you could try to spice it up a bit. You know, give it some intresting lines. But overall it's a good start.
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by __symphony__ | [ Reply to This ]
      hi...i think i agree with by_symphony...too much of repetition...i understand ur feelings against your home and what goes on in there...the first part of the poem is nice...i like the razor blade imagery...what is it supposed to be? i interpret it as either the 'so-called' feeling of love that might exist there...or...
    violence...i like the imagery...really do...though u cud work on the structure a lil bit
    cheers!
    Mihir
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by mihir | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.