Sick by Kersofmia

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Submission Name: Sick dots

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Author:	Kersofmia
ASL Info:	19/m/Mia
Elite Ratio:	5.51 - 111/84/44
Words:	203

Class/Type:	Poetry/Venting
Total Views:	177
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1282

Description:
This poem was purely venting, and since I see no way to change the problems I wrote about I feel that this is the only way I can reach out. I look forward to hearing anything what so ever you have to say about my writings. Thank you for reading.

Sick

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What is the meaning of life?
I ponder on deep thoughts when my mind starts to wander,
I see sick twisted lives,
To many desperate house wives,
And children cutting themselves with knives,

Is there any absolute?
I can not compute,
While I’m on this level,
I dare not speak to neither god nor the devil,
Maybe I’m to easily persuaded,
Or has my faith slowly faded,

I look at angry hopeless drug addicts,
And corporations that kill the world with creations like plastic,
I do not understand,
If this is fate what is the plan?

The way we live chosen by corrupt politicians,
To many wrongful sentences being served in prison,
Young soldiers in wars that shouldn't be fought,
Diseases from mosquitoes in your backyard being caught,

Can anyone give me an explanation?
Is more time spent in the bathroom than on vacation?
Look at the youth of this nation,
The only guidance is provided by radio and TV,
And we question why they want to be mc's and act so crazy,
I look at this present but I dare not peak into the future,
For the world is sick and there may not be a cure…

Submitted on 2006-02-19 19:19:19 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Drat - really sorry for triple posting...my net was down and I clicked re-send too many times. Stupid computer network at school is the problem.
| Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]
  The rhythm was slightly off in this which I have to admit I am rather fussy about as I like things to flow. Several lines seemed too long for where they were such as 'And corporations that kill the world with creations like plastic' as well as in the fourth line I think it should be 'too' not 'to'.

However it being a vent I'm not sure if that really matters - what matter's is the content and that is very, very strong. You're words will strike home too a lot of people as the line 'And children cutting themselves with knives,' did with me. 'Young soldiers in wars that shouldn't be fought,' is particularly poignant at this time.

Life does seem to be on a downward spiral and can you blame people for giving up and losing hope. The politics and government are slowly driving the country mad...but again it has to be asked is this really worse than the past or are we just looking back with rose tinted glasses.
| Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]
  The rhythm was slightly off in this which I have to admit I am rather fussy about as I like things to flow. Several lines seemed too long for where they were such as 'And corporations that kill the world with creations like plastic' as well as in the fourth line I think it should be 'too' not 'to'.

However it being a vent I'm not sure if that really matters - what matter's is the content and that is very, very strong. You're words will strike home too a lot of people as the line 'And children cutting themselves with knives,' did with me. 'Young soldiers in wars that shouldn't be fought,' is particularly poignant at this time.

Life does seem to be on a downward spiral and can you blame people for giving up and losing hope. The politics and government are slowly driving the country mad...but again it has to be asked is this really worse than the past or are we just looking back with rose tinted glasses.
| Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]
  The rhythm was slightly off in this which I have to admit I am rather fussy about as I like things to flow. Several lines seemed too long for where they were such as 'And corporations that kill the world with creations like plastic' as well as in the fourth line I think it should be 'too' not 'to'.

However it being a vent I'm not sure if that really matters - what matter's is the content and that is very, very strong. You're words will strike home too a lot of people as the line 'And children cutting themselves with knives,' did with me. 'Young soldiers in wars that shouldn't be fought,' is particularly poignant at this time.

Life does seem to be on a downward spiral and can you blame people for giving up and losing hope. The politics and government are slowly driving the country mad...but again it has to be asked is this really worse than the past or are we just looking back with rose tinted glasses.
| Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]
  i can understand where your coming from. it makes me angry not just because of the injustices that take place in our world but also at myself in my debility to do anything about it.
i feel the same way like im just dangling in limbo. so many people are too consumed by their own little worlds they are unable to open their eyes to the state of the world around them, crashing down.. and eventually on their own.
we're sedated by the tv and kept oblivious to our governments corruption..
it's getting worse & i wonder when the solution will come.
thanks for sharing. later.
| Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by vohomegirl | [ Reply to This ]
  wow

your piece has power and purpose. I like it alot, it has a sort of hopeless yet determined attitude to it. I understand why you would vent since i tend to the same. I love the way you said that there are alot of desperate house wives because its true and about children cutting themself again very true. It seems like nobody is happy anymore. Everyone has lost hope.

And corporations that kill the world with creations like plastic,

this line in particular kind of broke the flow for me, it be nice if you would reword it (same idea just different words) but its up to you

my favorite part of this would have to be

Is more time spent in the bathroom than on vacation?

that made me laugh because its soo true

thanks for sharing your ventiness (dont think its a real word) i appreciate it

andrea
| Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, seriously intense. It's so dramatic and hopeless in a way, like thinking about lost love, but then again it's also very forthright and righteous in the way that you call the world a sick place to be right now. I absolutly loved a couple of the lines you wrote, such as
"Maybe I’m to easily persuaded,
Or has my faith slowly faded,"
and
"Is more time spent in the bathroom than on vacation?"
Not such an original poem, but very much so emotional. And in a way it does have an heir to it just by the lines I pointed out. Nice job:)
| Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
  very nice write, I liked the rhyme scheme alot and the content was great. I too often sit back and ponder what is going wrong with this world and it is nice to see that I am not the only one.

Great job
-Kapone-
| Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by Kapone | [ Reply to This ]
  it;s true we live in a sick world. a misguided and ready and willing to fall world. i suppose the only cure is in ourselves, we must raise our children diffrently, defy in a new way. it's hard to see what things can bring down the road, so many people are so stuck in their own little universes that they see it as an impossibilty for others to exist and this might be the biggest problem, closemindedness, shallow hearts reaching out for god. i don't think there's an answer, on some levels it might have always been like this but technology intensifies the problems of the world tremendiously. it's a constant celebration of wrong, ease comfort. idk, it's depressing.

i like the thoughts, and the fact that you're willing to explore, the poem looks like something written by a begginer, but like you said it was pure venting, so i like the vibe you got,.

later
skilless
| Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by Skillessbasterd | [ Reply to This ]
  Hell yeah, hell yeah. That was the SHIT. Rhythm was a little hard to follow, but so are some of mine. yet the message was awesome. Power to the peaceful.
| Posted on 2006-05-08 00:00:00 | by Silenced poet | [ Reply to This ]

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