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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: These Daysdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kersofmia
    ASL Info:    19/m/Mia
    Elite Ratio:    5.51 - 111/84/44
    Words: 199
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 253
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1218



    Description:
       Well this peice has reason. I had been in a relationship that ended for me being to experienced and she had not yet done all the mistakes she believed she had to. So I entered the single world once again and this is all I saw. I also tryed to be a little sarcastic and funny while exaggerating just a bit.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThese Daysdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Is old school love dead?
    Think about it total strangers going to bed,
    Normal everyday thing not even frowned upon,
    Not like the days of King Kong,
    When looks truly didn’t matter,
    You’re getting kicked to the curb if you get any fatter,
    And it seems as if the women are getting worse,
    Moral fiber disappearing like their skirts,
    And now divorce is flowing down the river of life’s course,
    No way for a couple to stay together unless forced,
    We have entered a new day and age,
    And I know I’m hiding it well but I’m enraged,
    And now seeing a gold digger,
    Is more common then seeing Pooh with Tigger,
    I know it sounds funny,
    But the whole world does revolve around money,
    And an expensive car can really take you far,
    And I’m not talking about distance,
    I’m referring to way passed kissing,
    You can call me a jokester,
    But I’m looking for a nice way to be the spokesperson,
    For love, honor, and respect,
    These ways of the old are close to death,
    I won’t let it go without a fight,
    I want a lady that hasn’t slept with a different guy every night…




    Submitted on 2006-02-19 19:50:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Fantastic! You are a genius. You've pointed out the obvious everyone now wants to overlook. I applaud you.

    I did giggle a few times, and there were a couple solemn nods. That is the reaction I just LOVE to have to poetry.

    Favorite line "Moral fiber disappearing like their skirts" HA! So true, so funny.

    But in all seriousness I do agree with you. Love that's real is hard to find in general, and now the problem arises that even if you do find love, it's fake, or there are too many STD's getting in the way, previous bad relationships, a million children strewn over the planet, etc. It's sad...but, it's out there I promise. Wait it out, and it'll come to you.

    Good luck my friend, and thank you for the wonderful read.

    -miss m
    | Posted on 2008-04-30 00:00:00 | by fightingirl19 | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm, see the problem with the whole sleeping around thing, is that it's such a double standard type deal. a woman sleeps around and she's a dirty wh0re...a guy sleeps around and he's a stud. why cant we all just be called wh0res and get it over with...

    now, as far as losing the King Kong days when looks didnt matter...i blame guys for that lol. you [censored]s...because the idea of what you should look like today, woman cant just be natural..they have to have the 20 lbs of makeup on to accompany the 20 lbs of hairspray in their hair... i mean, really....if i went out to try to find me a guy, it's not going to happen in sweats and a ball cap...generally speaking.

    as far as money hungry, i cant really bash men toooo much for that, other than to say that there are men that do the same thing. I mean, why else would a 20 something cute dude be with a woman in her 40's or 50's? they need a mommy to take care of them and buy them things.

    now, in saying all my opinions that dont even matter, i love the opening line. but i do agree with Skilless that this doesnt seem much of a poem other than it rhymes...maybe you should post this under deep thought or such.
    | Posted on 2006-04-27 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]
      well there are alot of women with morals. i think us guys are generally far worse when it comes to that. *****generally***** women that sleep around are just lost and looking for affection, guy's that do it are looking for a piece of ass. that's speaking generally, but then again i have a soft spot for girls. idk

    i can relate to this, but besides that i don't like it all too much....it's to direct and unartistical. it has a good rythm and ryme scheme and all that but i wouldn't call it "poetry". trying using metaphor. make it a little harder to discover what you're really talking about. idk. maybe just might not be my style, feels more like lyrics than poetry.

    later
    skilless
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by Skillessbasterd | [ Reply to This ]
      well there are alot of women with morals. i think us guys are generally far worse when it comes to that. *****generally***** women that sleep around are just lost and looking for affection, guy's that do it are looking for a piece of ass. that's speaking generally, but then again i have a soft spot for girls. idk

    i can relate to this, but besides that i don't like it all too much....it's to direct and unartistical. it has a good rythm and ryme scheme and all that but i wouldn't call it "poetry". trying using metaphor. make it a little harder to discover what you're really talking about. idk. maybe just might not be my style, feels more like lyrics than poetry.

    later
    skilless
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by Skillessbasterd | [ Reply to This ]
      I can definitely relate to the message in this poem. The moral abandon of our society today is a very big "pet peeve" of mine, so to speak. I DO NOT approve of this attitude of sleep around with whoever as long as it makes you happy. What people don't realize is a night's pleasure is not worth all the heart-ache that will follow. Call me a goody-two-shoes if you will, but who will have gone through more hurt in the end, the person who has slept around or the person who saves it for marriage only?? And this pattern only carries through to when a person finally gets married because they probably won't be content with just one person, they'll cheat on their spouse and then end up divorcing and sleeping around some more. It's just a cruel cycle, but our society is all for living in the moment...
    Anyhow, about the piece...I agree with skilless, it could be somewhat smoother, but when you're writing in such a satyrical style, its not so much about artistry and flow as much as making a bold point. One suggestion I may make is don't try so hard to make every line rhyme...maybe every other line. Sometimes the attempts to make it rhyme completely throw off the rhythm of the piece and make it hard to follow. Anyways, just a few helpful comments, take them as you will! :) A good piece, nice to hear from someone else who objects to some of the more distasteful things about today's society.
    ~Jen~
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by Jengrr | [ Reply to This ]
      thank you (claps **) your poem is soo true and man I feel like so far from what I have read all your pieces speak the truth. I love the way you dont mess around and just get straight to the point without ruining it for the reader. This piece is strong and I dont think you exaggereate at all. Morals have gone down the drain along with respect for oneself. Nobody cares about anyone anymore all they want is sex and looks. Its nice to see someone with some common sense nowdays its really rare.

    good piece and I agree you shouldn't give up without a fight I know i wont

    andrea
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]



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