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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: DearFriends... & Fathers Suitsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: FrankBlissett
    Elite Ratio:    5.17 - 206/191/66
    Words: 280
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 218
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2030



    Description:
       Here are two poems - "Dear Friends And Gentle Hearts" and "Father's Suits". The primary thing I am looking for is which of the two leaves the biggest impression on you (in a good way). Any further critique on either poem is welcome and encouraged.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDearFriends... & Fathers Suitsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dear Friends And Gentle Hearts
    (a tribute to Stephen Foster)


    Dear friends and gentle hearts,
    I turn to you in hazy thought.
    Are you ashamed of me,
    Your drunk, has-been poet?

    I miss my Maid Marion so much;
    She must be nearly grown already.
    My heart is with our family Jane!
    My heart, however, is unsteady.

    Dear friends and gentle hearts,
    Where are you in my time of need?
    I gave everything I could afford,
    Gave to all - despite their greed.

    Everyone I met was a friend,
    Whatever their station in life.
    Even river tramps and fellow winos,
    My marrow bleed their strife.

    Dear friends and gentle hearts,
    The midnight wind is calling.
    George, you gave me inspiration --
    Together we helped them all sing.

    But I let the brass ring slip by,
    Grabbing a bottle of rum instead.
    If only I had headed my brothers,
    I wouldn't be laying here half dead.

    Dear friends and gentle hearts,
    A black bee whispers "courage".
    It sucks hemlock from the comb,
    While a banjo plays my death dirge.


    Father's Suits

    When I was young,
    I barely fit into my father's suits --
    Even after paper clips and rolling of trouser legs.

    When I was older,
    I almost fit into my father's suits --
    A little tucking here and there was all that was needed.

    Now I own all my father's suits and they fit perfectly --
    Well, maybe they're a little wide in the shoulders still.

    The ties,
    On the other hand,
    I just could not abide with!




    Submitted on 2006-02-19 20:18:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I'd have to say "Dear Friends and Gentle Hearts" left the best impression...
    "Father's Suits" seemed choppy, but the first poem seemed well thought out and well put together. Good job.

    ~The Original Sock Rocker~
    | Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by T.O.S.R. | [ Reply to This ]



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