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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: One word suicide letter:dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ant
    ASL Info:    19, male, SA
    Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 42/49/8
    Words: 273
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 1681
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1767



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOne word suicide letter:dots
    -------------------------------------------


    One word suicide letter: Acceptance


    A queer guy walked into a hardware store,
    Bought six bottles of paint remover,
    Died before he got to the fourth,
    And the guestioning found in his one word suicide letter,
    ‘WHY?’

    Daddy’s little rich girl goes to her room,
    Pours out her heart and soul to her four walls,
    Opens a jar and takes a blade,
    Found on the floor covered with blood,
    And the unresolved puzzle in her one word suicide letter,
    ‘DID?’

    Boy of sixteen heard his a father,
    His girlfriend is pregnant and they don’t have a clue,
    He takes his dad’s gun he knows what He want’s to do,
    And before pulling the trigger he whisper’s,
    ‘YOU’

    Girl of fifteen heard she was strange,
    She had peircings and didn’t know how to change,
    She just couldn’t go back to their faces,
    And left a note lying by her unconscious body saying it all in one word,
    ‘NEVER’

    Misunderstood and deprived of their love,
    Modern day Romeo and Modern day Juliet,
    Found themselves in a ditch covered with mud,
    Leaving trail of naked footprints to uncover their one word letter,
    “ACCEPT”

    Boy of eighteen heard he didn’t pass,
    So he climbed in his car and opened up the gas,
    And on the foggy window He wrote his one word suicide letter,
    That stunned the whole town,
    ‘ME’

    The question all these young people had,
    Was written for the one’s left behind to solve,
    To put the bodies and pieces together,
    And found acceptance was the cause,
    Because too little made them give up too soon…




    Submitted on 2006-02-20 08:40:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I'm not a cutter and I don't understand why this has an appeal. I do think there is less regard for life now that ever before and it shouldn't be. As a student in counseling I was warned how young people did not understand the finality of death. The drama they seek is at hand and no realizing how death gives them no more chance is not ruminated before their actions take them from the planet.

    You've done a fine job of reminding us who is at risk and why. And if it's for those who seek some wisdom along the way, it works and works well. Thanks for sharing.

    Nan

    | Posted on 2006-06-16 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      this was amazing! it was so powerful and emotional, and it definitely kept me reading the whole way through. you've put into words something i think every teen has felt as some point, the pressure of acceptance. keep up the amazing writing
    | Posted on 2006-02-26 00:00:00 | by jen531 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this piece needs a little editing for spelling errors and perhaps some rewording of a couple of lines to enhance the flow, but otherwise this is an extremely wise and poignant message carried out inside of the craft of poetry, and thus is doubly-impressive.
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW.. talk about powerful... excellent piece.. you held me from the beginning to the end.. and such an insite..(sp)... i loved the one word that turns to a sentence.. the never ending question... holy.. great job..
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Justmenow14 | [ Reply to This ]
      Absolutlely stunning. Not quite sure what to say and that's a compliment coming from the girl who's usually got enough complaints to fill a town!

    Crikey, it's just so stuunningly simple and so stunningly true...and how each of those single words can make a suicide note on their own and together. The different scenarios are all so true for people around the world who have never been 'right' in the world according to other people's beliefs...

    It's particulary poignant if you've been there tried that...and for exactly the same reason...

    Favourite.
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]
      Life is worth the living. I was once suicidal. and I was a "cutter". And I thought that maybe the world and the people surrounded me would be better off without me there. In reality, I was facing such an inner battle that I was giving up on myself. Life is worth living. There are many trials and tribulations...and all one can do is keep focusing on the light and never fall lost in the dark.

    All of these scenerios really showed how wide your mind can expand. And this proves that you have talent. Each scenerio was truthful and could be a reality.

    Great job on this one!

    LI LI
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      OMG! I have shivers. The hair on my arm is standing up. Wholly crap! This would be only the second poem on here that has made me speechless. I have nothing else I can say. OMG! Beyond powerful! Whoa. I'm just going to stop because there are no words to say how great this was!
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by nicklacymatthew | [ Reply to This ]
      I think what youve written about is something many teens face, acceptance is really all we need and when we dont get it we feel like killing ourselves. all the scenarious: ppl who didnt find acceptance among their peers and realised that they couldnt live with this and that just killed them. It was simply an amazing piece, i like how in the end they joined the stories and found the answer, i suggest you read the following poem by another user, it relates but in a different way: http://www.eliteskills.com/z/90362
    love
    g
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by Gautam | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, So many scenerios, but they all are true, I like the modern day romeo and juliet stanza, its a great comparison...I'm not sure what to say in terms of feedback, few minor spelling errors, I seriously am speechless...

    I'm never speechless..not usually, it's a good write

    lots of luv

    x0x Mickey x0x
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by Drain_my_Blood | [ Reply to This ]
      i love it...

    it's very very welll written...great concept...and it drew me in, write from the title to the last line.

    very true...it made me feel sad...

    i think that your rhyming went a little awry in some places, but that can be fixed. besides, it hardly makes a difference to me because this is such a brilliant write. totally one for the favs.

    great job!
    mud
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by Mud | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow..what an awsome write..stanza after stanza it just got better..i liked the idea you had with putting all the words together: "Why Did You Never Accept Me??"..Awsome idea..each scenerio was so true and sad..it has a liitle story so anyone can relate..i loved it..

    And some people say they don't care about being accepted just to sound cool..but deep inside their dying to be be loved by everyone and have the perfect life..
    lovely write keep up the awsome work!

    -Lucy-
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an excellent write
    You did not dramatize suicide and you put it into bitter reality
    This is a strong piece and very well written
    This poem can help mend a lot of broken Hearts
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem had a lot of meaning into it. To the editors eye there are mistakes in spelling and what have you but who doesn't make such mistakes. Anyways I like the situations, and the outcome... good work
    If I were to grade this I would give it
    B

    Tru Fiend
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by MaskedRapper | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a great piece. I thought that alot of people could possibly relate, because they have attempted suicide because they felt that their friends and parents didn't accept them.
    Brilliant Darling!
    ~Torie
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by lebeauvide | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, I love this poem. I love all the different situations and how you describe them. all of them are believable and actually are sad and make you feel sory. What i really liked though was how you made the "why did you never accept me?". I think thats really creative and original. its also cool how u kinda made it rhyme and kinda didn't and it still flowed. I really like that. this is really good.
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by Faith_Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      definetly a favorite addition i love it ...
    i think you did a hgreat job .. i will put in the category of story/poem writing .. but it was very great ... the mesagge is good here.. thanks for sharing ...
    hey if you have time please check out my writings please...
    take care and
    peace and love!
    Victor!
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]


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