Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Battles We Foughtdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Flamequill
    ASL Info:    17/Male/Sparta Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 77/97/35
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1036
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 881



    Description:
       Started rambling, it's a little forced in my opinion but I don't think it's the worst I've written (that stuff will never be posted) Tell me what you think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBattles We Foughtdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I have to stay strong
    but it's harder than we think
    because all these years we've been wrong
    and in this pain we tend to sink

    All this time I've been wondering
    if we were wrong it what we thought
    Because all this pain has been thundering
    and we haven't found what we sought

    And for months we've been waiting
    for a time when I'd be free
    but that hope keeps fastly fading
    perhaps it's not free I need to be

    I keep waiting to be saved
    but I've had it with depending
    I just wish life wasn't waved
    then maybe I could stop repenting

    I know I have to stay strong
    but it's harder than we thought
    and all these years we've been wrong
    but not these battles we have fought




    Submitted on 2006-02-20 13:39:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This makes me wonder if you're going through some illness, perhaps? Perhaps you're feeling dispare. Anyway.. I like the write. Your flow was good, the emotion showed through and I'm huge on emotion isn poetry :) If you can make the reader imagine or feel, then you've got a good poem. And you nailed it. Good job!
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by nicklacymatthew | [ Reply to This ]
      this was good

    so many life situations make great poems
    well done i'm glad i took time to read
    will look for more of your posts
    sandman
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      "and in this pain we then to sink"
    *tend to sink?
    should be then sink.. ithink :)

    I like the ending.
    Cool.
    Amber

    :) :) :)
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    92144

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry