Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To be happy Again!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jessie thomas
    ASL Info:    24/F/Alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 299/338/79
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 1046
    Average Vote:    2.0000
    Bytes: 488



    Description:
       I wrote this when I was just sitting in my room, and really, this is what happened. That was basically my thought process. I didn't have any carrots, though, but I did dance. I stood up and spun around and did a little jig. And that is about it. I am happy lately, and that is a good thing. So Yay...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo be happy Again!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I look at the clock,
    It's 11:17.
    Damn, I wanted the date.
    It's the 25th!
    I knew that.
    But now I know the time,
    If only I knew the temperature,
    Then I could dance.
    Oh hell,
    I don't need the temperature,
    It wouldn't be in celcius anyway.
    At this point,
    I throw stapled staples in the air,
    Grab a carrot from the punch bowl,
    And dance around.
    Oh to be happy again!!




    Submitted on 2006-02-20 15:14:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This one does read more or less like a straightforward thought process. Reading it, I get more or less the image of an excited person giddily bouncing around.

    But other than that, there isn't too much too this one, I think. Kind of one-dimensional in a sense, which is okay, but it is definitely one of those things where you'd have to be in a rather good mood to appreciate the poem, otherwise (if one is in a bad mood) the poem just seems really irritating. So it's a good thing I'm in a rather good mood right now, otherwise I just wouldn't have left a comment because I wouldn't have anything nice to say about it.

    I could also say the part about not caring about what the temperature is could hold a little extra meaning, but I honestly don't think it was meant to carry any. I could be wrong and would not mind being corrected.

    Finally, if a person knows you, or just has a general knowledge of you, then they would find this poem rather fitting to you, but if they didn't, again, it'd be tough to relate unless they knew someone who fit within the idea shown in the poem. So maybe the poem is more of an idea, an expression (as most poems tend to be considered), you get the feeling of a carefree person, but still, not too much else.
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by Sir Jimeth | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay for some reason this sounds like you have ADHD, and I would know what that's like because I have it and I do really random things too! Oh, YAY, HAPPINESS!
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by Siren Mengana | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. I wish I could be like this at times, like when your extremely troubled or just want to forget everything. I hoped you really enjoyed your happy moment!

    This made me want to jump up dance.

    *darkwinged*
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by darkwinged | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sitting here thinking, I've read this before, why didn't I comment. Then I remembered I read it in your kitchen while we were making mashed potatoes, and you said you knew I would understand the part about stapled staples. I love the energy behind this, it's so you, and I think only a very few people can appreciate it for what it is. You still need to read my poem, "Your Beautiful." I mean it. Read it biznatch. I'm trying to figure out a way to invent a magic wand that shrinks people. You'll understand if you've read my journal or my blog...
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      aww, that was a cool poem. Sometimes you gotta just let go. I love to dance, I do it all the time until i get stomach craps then i sit down and do it some more...in my room..infront of my mirror, yes i know what you're thinking. Lol. Awesome poem, I wish I could be happy all the time and be able to dance all the time. I liked it, it was..inspiring?
    inkpen
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    92153

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    untitled written by Outlaw
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry