Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To be happy Again!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jessie thomas
    ASL Info:    24/F/Alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 299/338/79
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 1080
    Average Vote:    2.0000
    Bytes: 488



    Description:
       I wrote this when I was just sitting in my room, and really, this is what happened. That was basically my thought process. I didn't have any carrots, though, but I did dance. I stood up and spun around and did a little jig. And that is about it. I am happy lately, and that is a good thing. So Yay...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo be happy Again!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I look at the clock,
    It's 11:17.
    Damn, I wanted the date.
    It's the 25th!
    I knew that.
    But now I know the time,
    If only I knew the temperature,
    Then I could dance.
    Oh hell,
    I don't need the temperature,
    It wouldn't be in celcius anyway.
    At this point,
    I throw stapled staples in the air,
    Grab a carrot from the punch bowl,
    And dance around.
    Oh to be happy again!!




    Submitted on 2006-02-20 15:14:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This one does read more or less like a straightforward thought process. Reading it, I get more or less the image of an excited person giddily bouncing around.

    But other than that, there isn't too much too this one, I think. Kind of one-dimensional in a sense, which is okay, but it is definitely one of those things where you'd have to be in a rather good mood to appreciate the poem, otherwise (if one is in a bad mood) the poem just seems really irritating. So it's a good thing I'm in a rather good mood right now, otherwise I just wouldn't have left a comment because I wouldn't have anything nice to say about it.

    I could also say the part about not caring about what the temperature is could hold a little extra meaning, but I honestly don't think it was meant to carry any. I could be wrong and would not mind being corrected.

    Finally, if a person knows you, or just has a general knowledge of you, then they would find this poem rather fitting to you, but if they didn't, again, it'd be tough to relate unless they knew someone who fit within the idea shown in the poem. So maybe the poem is more of an idea, an expression (as most poems tend to be considered), you get the feeling of a carefree person, but still, not too much else.
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by Sir Jimeth | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay for some reason this sounds like you have ADHD, and I would know what that's like because I have it and I do really random things too! Oh, YAY, HAPPINESS!
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by Siren Mengana | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. I wish I could be like this at times, like when your extremely troubled or just want to forget everything. I hoped you really enjoyed your happy moment!

    This made me want to jump up dance.

    *darkwinged*
    | Posted on 2006-02-20 00:00:00 | by darkwinged | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sitting here thinking, I've read this before, why didn't I comment. Then I remembered I read it in your kitchen while we were making mashed potatoes, and you said you knew I would understand the part about stapled staples. I love the energy behind this, it's so you, and I think only a very few people can appreciate it for what it is. You still need to read my poem, "Your Beautiful." I mean it. Read it biznatch. I'm trying to figure out a way to invent a magic wand that shrinks people. You'll understand if you've read my journal or my blog...
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      aww, that was a cool poem. Sometimes you gotta just let go. I love to dance, I do it all the time until i get stomach craps then i sit down and do it some more...in my room..infront of my mirror, yes i know what you're thinking. Lol. Awesome poem, I wish I could be happy all the time and be able to dance all the time. I liked it, it was..inspiring?
    inkpen
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    92153

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    The World written by jjd
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry