[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: winning you overdots

    Author: maninthemirror
    ASL Info:    17/m/arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 224/318/109
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 458
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 852


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswinning you overdots

    I hate you then love you, and I"m so sick and tired
    I'm in love with you for hating me, its beyond desire
    all I care about, is what you seem to want to give
    for me to be respected, and my lyrics out-live!
    my life, and what is the point of this man
    I feel like nobody loves me, and my music they ban
    murder's on my brain, but love is on my heart
    I morn the day, when our love fades and we are pulled apart
    this day I tell you that I"m confused there is no doubt
    ,but what I'm feeling compares to one, and you know this, I"ll shout
    for my words to be heard, if you refuse
    then I must resort, just to amuse
    the kings do it big, just by walking in the room
    they're the ant, we're the planes, like sonic boom

    Submitted on 2006-02-20 22:16:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This has a papa roach meets tupac feel to it, I like it. I agree with two other points already made here though.

    You seem to lose focus towards the end for one, which was rather disapointing seeing how you have an awesome start here.

    Another thing. This is way too short to be a song. It's a great start, don't get me wrong, just work with it man.
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by ThisIsReal | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree wit troy you lost focus in the end ( i do that alot so it's all good.) over all it was good. add more make it a song lol. Anyways i liked it, it was like a love/hate/love/hate relationship.

    ~~DePoetry aka Danni~~
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]
      ok. the beginning and part of the middle were amazing. towards the end u lost focus and started fu cking it up! if u woulda kept it going this would've been a great verse. try to stay consecutive. or something like that
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Dream written by closetpoet
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Love written by saartha
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    prison written by ShyOne
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]