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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: winning you overdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: maninthemirror
    ASL Info:    17/m/arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 224/318/109
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 452
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 852



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswinning you overdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I hate you then love you, and I"m so sick and tired
    I'm in love with you for hating me, its beyond desire
    all I care about, is what you seem to want to give
    for me to be respected, and my lyrics out-live!
    my life, and what is the point of this man
    I feel like nobody loves me, and my music they ban
    murder's on my brain, but love is on my heart
    I morn the day, when our love fades and we are pulled apart
    this day I tell you that I"m confused there is no doubt
    ,but what I'm feeling compares to one, and you know this, I"ll shout
    for my words to be heard, if you refuse
    then I must resort, just to amuse
    the kings do it big, just by walking in the room
    they're the ant, we're the planes, like sonic boom





    Submitted on 2006-02-20 22:16:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This has a papa roach meets tupac feel to it, I like it. I agree with two other points already made here though.

    You seem to lose focus towards the end for one, which was rather disapointing seeing how you have an awesome start here.

    Another thing. This is way too short to be a song. It's a great start, don't get me wrong, just work with it man.
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by ThisIsReal | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree wit troy you lost focus in the end ( i do that alot so it's all good.) over all it was good. add more make it a song lol. Anyways i liked it, it was like a love/hate/love/hate relationship.

    ~~DePoetry aka Danni~~
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]
      ok. the beginning and part of the middle were amazing. towards the end u lost focus and started fu cking it up! if u woulda kept it going this would've been a great verse. try to stay consecutive. or something like that
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]


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