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    dots Submission Name: Ghost of the Towersdots

    Author: adnil
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 514/286/57
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1101
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 865

       just a little something I thought you might like to read if you happen to believe in Ghost

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGhost of the Towersdots

    Lady Grey and Guiford Dudley to the towers you did go
    Having coveted the crown that only brought you woe
    Had you not of listened to the people of the town
    You'd not sat with heavy hearts and frown
    For your appointment was found to be disgracing
    And the chopping block you were soon facing
    To Beauchamp Tower 'tis there Dudley sat to wait
    To Tower Green the Lady Grey awaited her fate
    Surely your nerves was greatly taxed
    While the executioner sat gringing his axe
    For up in the towers sat two lost souls
    Knowing soon their lovely heards would roll
    'Tis said your spirits haunt the towers
    Dudley's is heard weeping in the early morning hours
    And yours my Lady is often seen walking around
    From Tower Green to Salt Tower high above the ground

    Submitted on 2006-02-21 03:42:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Great stuff from you again Linda. Very vivid and full of imagery. This reminds me a lot of my poem, 'The Maid From Hawthorn Hill'.

    | Posted on 2007-09-18 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      I was not moved by this writing although it was written fairly well. I few word mistakes - heard instead of head - but overall just needs a bit more creativity I think.
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by Daokao | [ Reply to This ]
      As one famous person once said... I don't believe in ghosts, but I am frightened of them. I'd have to say the same thing. Frightened maybe, because we really don't know...

    Your poem tells the story of ghosts, but there is little imagery used to describe the situation. I thought this was quite good, but you could do more to make it spookier, especially in the last two lines.

    However, as a ghost story this rates well.

    Hope to read more from you soon.
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by Lulu La Feyne | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very well written piece but I can't say it was one of my favorites. It lacks life... what i mean is that even though you talk about such things as treason and death... things that usually come with a high dose of emotions, there seems to be no feeling behind it. almost like you wrote the piece for a class and didn't put very much effort into it beyond making it sound good.
    i'm sorry if it sounds like i'm being overly critical of your piece but this is a writing critique site and i'm only trying to be fair so we can all improve our writing.
    keep it up!

    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good write
    I like the way it is spoken
    I will say however that I have read some of your other writes that are much deeper
    I am NOT saying this is a bad write thou
    Your writes always carry a readers mind into thinking
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I won't be so brutal to you dear. I do think you need to add some heart to this. And choose to speak as a narrator or let the characters be first person. I think you could of added more to this and expalined why these things befell thw two. I would say she would be the one mourning and he walks the grounds. The flow was good, till you got to the end and I think the rhyming was a not as good in certain places. This is ripe for revision. But I loved the history and the fact you wrote about these two. Very nice, needs improvement.

    | Posted on 2006-02-26 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]

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