JESS! oh my god i love this! i've tried so many times to write poems like this but i've crashed and burned...miserably.this is so good and love it. its so nice to read a HAPPY poem once in a while aside from all the depression. well i cant find any imperfections.
Pretty. I've tried to write something like this before, but it didn't quite turn out as I had hoped. I think it was because I tried to make it too complicated. That is part of the charm of this write, I think. It's simple, as are the pictures it portray. Thanks for sharing it. ^.^
Nature is beautiful, and so many people do not "appreciate it". I thought this poem was nice. The rhyme added to it, because all the rhyming seemed to flow and none of it was forced. I have had many camping experiences and I know that nature... watching a squirrel jump from tree to tree, or standing in a river, can be amazing and peaceful. Industrialization destroys. Good work.
Mmmm, nature. I tend to hiss at it now-a-days...what with the evil sun and all.
So peaceful...yet so very deep. We tend not to appreciate the things that are right in front of us, because they have always been there...yet when it is gone, we notice, and miss it. Funny, when they trees are living we pay it no mind, but once it dies we think of it as losing a friend.
When you sit back and listen to one of your friends, try to picture them not being there, what runs through your mind? Helplessness? Fear? Saddness? Hopelessness? Also picture them happy, as happy as they have ever been, happier then you've been. Are you happy for them? Are you jealous? Depressed? Then, when you bring yourself back to reality, see their face, hear their voice, you remember why you became friends in the first place. You remember why you have put up with their ups and downs. You remember why you love them.
I wish everyone would just stop for a second, look around themselves, and see the good in their lives, just once, rather then the bad.
Thank you. I know I threw some of my thoughts at you...but I'm sure you can relate to some(if not most) of my ramblings.
I don't know what else to say...I enjoyed this...beautiful images...sorry for rambling
ah, the beauty of nature which can be so healing. makes me want to go to the mountains and sit by a stream and just breathe in the wonder around me. you're ending is poignant, for i fear we are destroying the beauaty of the earth.. for all the building that is going on around here, there soon won't be any trees around...
i think i'll go outside now and just look and listen!
HAHA awesome jess. Love it muchly and stuff... and you wanna know something, I've done a lot of those things. In fact that is how I came by 12th Street... well kinda... not entierly. anyway... yeah, Awesome write, very descriptive, got my imagination running and the such. So yeah, again awesome write. Just like Always Jess, THNX
ooooh, really nice. This is pretty calm but also seems to be just a little bit sad *sniffle* But it seems to not be like your other writings, good job! Not that I don't like your other writing (lol) it's just that's it's cool that Jess's writing can change a bit.
welll nice work.. i love it .. it put many images on my head .. and i just had to keep reading ... by the way i seemed to be a longer writing i wish i t could be longer. but well.. overall i think this is a god write .. good wording ..! keep on writing ! and why dont you check out my stuff?? well ytake care! and peace and love! Victor!
Wow, that's a wonderful poem about nature. The message it seems to convey is that you/or I, as the reader, need to slow down with life and enjoy the nature; what God has created for us. Vitoko is right, if the peom was a bit longer, then it would be far more interesting. I've noticed, though, that the whole poem was written in question form. It makes the reader think about the question, because you never answer it. (Of course you can't because you're asking about if the reader has done it.) Maybe, if you revised, to make it talk about nature instead of ask questions about it. It would need to be more elaborate on detail, but could be so much better.
Your meter and rhythm were fluid and even all the way through this. (except for the first couplet in the last stanza...try condensing by one syllable in the second line). Although I'm not a great fan of the rhetorical, this was varied enough that it served as a reminder to take time to smell the flowers. jan
Yes this is a unique poem. i love the repetition involved in it. Everything is well organized and neat. I love the way you made the poem. It makes me want to appreciate alot of things. So i think you got your point across. great poem and keep up the good job.
this comment must not show any encouragement, all superiors must clear accolades, so instead all words of kindness will be substituted, to be fair the same will be true if something I don’t like or needs work, welcome to the new ES order.
low security detail word substitution:: great= Bloomberg, nice= grain, I like= jackal, needs work= hammer, I don’t like= floobergan, correction=correction {superiors like correction it is deemed ok}, but “ok” must be “ mop” warm= skip, you like= mango, think= oops, deep=trench, improved= plow
st1: the question does drive me to oops, of course only on the mop of the superiors. I jackal the two last lines that makes me feel skip, it does feel grain of course only when it is mop to be that way.
st2: the questions hammer, I think perhaps more scenery would be grain but only if you think it is mop, if you mango that is Bloomberg. the latter question does make me oops again haha hope that is mop to do that. But it isn’t very trench I think perhaps some more scenery but that is all up to you. the questions are mop.
st3: again here I think it hammer perhaps go into detail on these questions.
st4: the squirrel part is mop at least I have a jumping squirrel in my mind, I don’t not know if squirrels are mop I will have to get back to you on that. the beach is grain, jackal the ocean myself; can never get enough of those pounding waves. I think the scenery for the questions have plow, ya that is grain.
st5: I think the first question is Bloomberg! uh oh I got excited on that, I am not suppose to show emotion here, I think I will be punished. the last two lines are also Bloomberg but that time I have successfully have not jumped, whew I coulda got us both in trouble for that.
overall I say in encrypted Morse Code Smileys: _ ___ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
if you have any questions those will be answered in a decoded PM
hey there ... this is pretty cool and a poem everyone should read ... i loved the flow and the rhythm of the poem ... the questions you asked in each one ... the ending was just right, how you told everyone in a real subtle way that they should be sure to appreciate nature before it disappears .... mostly because we're destroying it but yes ... hehe
"Have you ever gone outside to simply feel the breeze? Or even ever noticed the changing colors of the leaves?"
i would have to say thats my favorite stanza ... it was hard to pick but i guess i picked it because i love the feeling of a slight breeze hehe ... and the changing of the colors of the leaves ... a cool concept ... this poem really shows the amazing things in the creation of the world .. the little details that make all the difference ... so jst wanted to say, very cool poem, great theme, and very well presented ... congrats on this great write ... cheers, take care, DeepsLighter
Submission Name: Appreciate It
