I liked this one alot andy. I could so see you doing this to some poor helpless guy. I so could. but yeah. The imagery was on point and it was great. I mean I am at a loss for words to fit it so I'm gonna say good job andy and keep it up
The poem is a good start and has an interesting message (I have no other way to put it). At first I thought this was about luring someone in, which was what it started out as. It relates to a lot of readers because that's usually what some people like to do. Ok, on to the little things. (I didn't find anything big) -The majority of the poem needs capitalization and punctuation. I won't say where, because most of it needs it anyways, and you might want to make the reader pause here and there and read it a certain way. In stanza 5, where it says "don't loose control", the word loose should be lose. (It happens again in stanza 9). The lines "he inches closer thinking you bait" doesn't make sense to me. Is it supposed to be "taking your bait"? There a a few errors here and there, however, I'd like to say that I love the lines "You weave a web of lust red lips labeled poison sea of hair your trap" Good visualization, and elaboration (description).
Submission Name: Fem Fatal
but yeah. The imagery was on point and it was great. I mean I am at a loss for words to fit it so I'm gonna say good job andy and keep it up