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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lashing outdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hollowpain
    ASL Info:    21/M/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    2.7 - 30/39/17
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 211
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 1039



    Description:
       A quick glimpse of my Insanity


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLashing outdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Just get away from me.
    let me rot in myself, Let me rip out my eyes.
    let me go in a world that denies my existence.
    let me fall victim to the wrath of my own hatred.
    let me cut my mortal flesh and release the flow of toxic blood.

    I am a virus, a plague on this earth.
    the revolting truth to a disgusting lie.
    A fallen angel on the thin line of good and evil.
    A pixel of intellegence or a rhapsody of sorrow.
    A sonnet of carnage or a tunnel of destruction.

    like the weight of an atomic bomb, my mind has been crushed. left useless in it's eternal cell of glass and bone. I can hear your blood drip from my fingers. I can see the Holy diver, she's never far but always out of reach. I just want to shove my teeth into her neck. I just want to return to the ether. I want to start the ripple that triggers the ultimate apocolypse. Behold my glory, my insanity is only surpassed by my brutality.
    I am one I am all I'm above and beyond




    Submitted on 2006-02-22 11:56:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      the imagery i got was astounding, the writing is wonderfully dark, it feels as its come straight from the heart and i could, in a sense, feel the hatred. the only downside would be the over-description, in my opinion i would suggest toneing down slightly to make the work more palateble, overall i thinks that it is an impressive work
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by griever13 | [ Reply to This ]
      Pictures can be painted by words for the minds eye to take in and you have done that wonderfuly in this write. Bravo. I loved the emotion in this dark yet justifiable expression of self and thought. Keep on it!
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by nasuka | [ Reply to This ]
      Very Powerful Imagery in my honest opinion. Just continue to find new and exciting ways to express yourself. You should of course write for yourself and only yourself, but if you want it to translate to others well, descriptions sometimes need to be more subtle.
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]



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