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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Death of the Lady Nelldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wewak11
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 3436/3630/329
    Words: 300
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 432
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1850



    Description:
       No hidden meanings...simply an hour of a pirate's life...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Death of the Lady Nelldots
    -------------------------------------------


    “Hard to port!” the Captain cried, the helmsman spun the wheel,
    “Ready on the starboard guns and sharpen up your steel!”
    Lady Nell drew parallel, I saw her cannon’s eyes,
    Piracy would win tonight, and this maid was the prize.

    Puffs of smoke came from the brig, and then a hollow “boom”
    Four-pound balls of death flew fast and fell short in the gloom,
    As our topsails cracked to bite the breeze from dead astern
    Lady Nell came into range and now we’d have our turn.

    “Fire!” my ears went ringing as our cannon sang their tune,
    Nell sat like a table bird, so plump and opportune;
    Timber splintered, sails went slack, we fired and fired again,
    On the water flew the dreadful sounds of screaming men.

    “Mercy none!” the order screamed, we clambered on the Nell,
    Muskets cracked as cutlasses were sending men to Hell,
    Soon the sharks would have a feast of sailor’s flesh and bones,
    One by one the vanquished were dispatched to Davy Jones.

    I espied their Captain as the noise dropped to a hum,
    “Here’s to Hell that waits for you, you heathen pirate scum!”
    Then my knife flew like a dart and buried in his neck,
    Blood ran like molasses and it pooled upon the deck.

    Treasures from the Indies soon were streaming from her hold,
    Silk and shell and finest spice and chests of Inca gold,
    Faster than the battle Lady Nell was plundered bare,
    “Back on board, my lads, there’s Buka rum awaits you there!”

    Torches set the funeral pyre, from bilges up to mast,
    Sails were set, we headed East, the brig was sinking fast;
    Troubled sleep beset by ghosts, the men who never die,
    Waiting for revenge upon these pirates such as I.




    Submitted on 2006-02-22 14:44:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i'm so late getting to comment on this one. I read it a week ago! anyway....i loved it. Pirate poems are always great it's just that there aren't enough of them!!! and this, this was absolute brilliance especially because you kept to the AA bb rhyme scheme(which i have constant trouble with! arrgg)

    kudos on anothe spectacular write,
    Misty~
    | Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by misty_of_moon | [ Reply to This ]
      ok, before i comment i would just like to say that i have a fascination with pirates, like i want to be one. seriously. me and nikki are gonna have ourown ship. but anyway, on to your poem.

    i loved that u used language of the age. it made the poem feel genuine. i liked how u used personification and made Lady Nell a character instead of some scenery. i know the pirate talk may be gettin old, but matey it done me ol' heartgood toread such a peice as this. ahoy, Kate
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by MyFairCalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooh, this made me think that I was a pirate on the that ship. Even though I'm a girl, theres nothing wrong with fantasy is there?

    I always love reading your pieces because the rhyme is spectacular, as so is this piece. The imagery is always so grand. You can picture the smoke billowing out from the ship as it slowely sinks into the sea. Hear the victory cries of the pirates as they celebrate drinking from the casks of rum. Such vivid images in this one. I can just imagine the turquois sea and once blue sky now filled with smoke.

    I could go on all day here so I will stop now. I really loved this one and I have to fav it. Yup, another wewak fav. Geez, can you tell I'm a fan?

    Brightest Blessings,
    Crystal
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by lenotoire | [ Reply to This ]
      So what inspired this? “Pirates of the Caribbean”? anyway, a pretty good piece here, Graeme. I thought the meter might be slightly off in 1 or 2 places, but other than that, well done.

    Peace,

    Joe
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      this made me think of Jack Sparrow.. i love it Graeme, i was right on deck. so descriptive.
    i used to love the Pirates of the Caribbean ride
    at Disneyland when i was a kid.. it was scary then, but i kept going back for more!

    you've done a marvelous job with this,
    you scalawag!!

    peace,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      This is awesome! I'm a pirate fan and love reading stuff on pirates. I was kinda skeptical that u would be able to write a story/poem and make it sound good, much less make it rhyme. But whatever, you did one hell of a job. The rhyming flows perfectly and adds to the story, rather than taking away. The story itself was very interesting and held me in its grip till the very end. I read over a couple times just cause i like it so much. The imagery was amazing and gave me a clear, vivid picture of the life of a pirate. I could smell the blood, hear the screams, and see the carnage. It was the best poem in a long time, this is definitly a favorite.
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by Faith_Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooo I LOVE pirates
    I'm gonna be a pirate... a professional one Thats right.
    I like this a lot. It's a fun, yet kind of dark story that I very much enjoyed reading. The rhyming is wonderful as always.
    The part about Davy Jones made me smile because it reminded me of Marcia from The Brady Bunch. "Davy Jones is the most." lol
    The ending is perfect too. I love it.
    As I always say, Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      Blimey, any addled, bilge sucking land loving scally'd better pay respect to this piece here, for the only thing I didn't catch, was the splashes down below. And RHUM! Oh rhum, who added the spiced to rhum? It's much better with an h, I think. More piratey, don't you think? You really put me up on deck there, the uhh... what are they called? Onomotopoeia! Really cool. And you could mention someting of the bloodflow being silted by the dagger, but aside from that, this poem is a delight... Makes Roger Jolly. Heh. Thanks, Mr. Grame, for the sweet read. Peace- rue
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by Rue | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm so glad you posted this piece. And I like the way you brought it to a close.

    You mentioned adding more action/fighting, but if I had spent a lot of my life as a pirate, I think the fighting would stop being somethig I remembered. I'd focus more on the loot, the prize, the getting away with my life.

    I like this just the way it is. It gave me shivers!

    Take Care!

    Chell
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      HA! I love it, a priate poem from our own beloved Austrailian Pirate!
    Amazing piece dear Graeme (does it ever get old to hear that?). The imagery with this was incredible. It was almost as if you took us aboard Lady Nell in her last hours, smelling the gunsmoke and fire, hearing the cannon blasts and men screaming. In the last stanza I got the feeling of sadness, a bit like being resigned to the life of a pirate and all the torment that comes with it. Bloody good work Mate!
    Travi :)
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      Shiver me timbers - taint nuttin like the ole life of a pirate matey!
    I had to take the parrot of of my shoulder - he just pooped! muwahahaha

    This is pure Graeme - you fit in all the elements and language and make us feel for a minute that we are about to board that ship & seize her treasure.
    I'll take a spot or two of that Buka!
    Great dear Graeme!
    Love,Peace,Joy&pillaging!
    tif
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Graeme
    I loved the theme to this one
    You really stuck to the theme never venturing away
    This was truly a plesasure of a write to read
    As ive said before
    You never cease to amaze me with evreyone of your writes
    Please take care of yourself
    Ron

    And Thank You for the kind words on Liquified Dreams
    Coming from you I am truly humbled
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Let's see if I can fit in,

    Aaargh, Ahoy thar matey!

    Another brilliant rhyming tale. Is there a name for this style of AA,BB story telling rhyme? It seems to be tried often enough, but few people produce writing of this quality.

    I like how you've chosen to tell the tale from the point of view of one of the pirates. I think much of the drama stems from the fact that we are part of the action, not cast in the role of a dry narrator. Also, your ending line
    Waiting for revenges upon these pirates such as I.
    fits perfectly with your first person approach and really ties it together.

    Great work (as always)
    Steve
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
      ARRR ME MATEY!

    I love pirates as well, and you just inspired me to put my pirate poetry on the site. I wrote one a while back that I believe needs some revision. This poem was real good, and I did like the rhyming.

    "One by one the vanquished were dispatched to Davy Jones."

    That had to be my most favorite part of the piece. I smiled when I saw it. There are small parts in the poem if you read along with the rhym that threw me off a bit. So some work on that and I think this piece will be very good. Thanks for the write and check out my pirate poems when I post them up.

    Respect.
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by irish storm | [ Reply to This ]
      Argh Matey...Oh I just love pirates, can't begin to tell you why...
    Spectacular Sir Graeme, the last verse just does it and sets the tale to be told again and again. This one works well...I'm off to get my patch and parrot
    LNL
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]



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