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The Story Once there was a boy … Full of energy and joy With no worry’s at all Thinking how great life was … And that nothing could go wrong … He was going to secondary school next year And he felt a little sad Because all of his friends Where going to different schools … He didn’t knew That this would only be the beginning … So he went to secondary school First he felt alone Eventually he made friends And his first problem was over But soon after that His father wanted to speak to him He said he was leaving For a reason the boy didn’t understand So he left And he didn’t knew when he would return His mother was broken But he didn’t knew what to do A year passed And suddenly he saw his father again But he wasn’t happy Because he was told the reason Why he had left that night His parents were going to divorce … His dad was in love with someone else But the boy didn’t think about it It was still to complicated So now and then he visited his dad And he met the woman For who his dad had left his mom From the moment he saw her He knew he didn’t like her And he never would She tried to be friendly But he knew it wasn’t real The boy kept going to his father Still not knowing why Or what actually happened But he didn’t want to know He was living in his own world Far away from the horrible truth But things were changing … His brother, not much older then he was Began arguing with his mother This led to little fights And soon He left the house … The boy was devastated Because his brother was important to him So, when he left the house The boy went looking for him He knew where his brother was going He was going to his best friend And from there He probably would call his dad And he would move to his place And the boy was right He looked from behind a tree How he entered his father’s car The boy stood there for a while With tears in his eyes But then he saw his father looking at him And before he could say anything The boy ran as fast as he could He didn’t ran home yet He ran to a place where He, his brother and his sister played When they were little He knew that would never happen again When the boy came home He saw his mother had cried He understood why But he didn’t tell here what he had seen He didn’t tell anyone It was his secret He didn’t want to talk about it Because it was painful His brother and mother didn’t speak For a very long time And it was silent in the house The boy still saw his brother at school But not for long He went to another school One that was closer for him He sometimes saw his brother again When he was at his dad’s place He looked happy to be there But the boy didn’t understand Why did he left Why did he leave his brother and sisters Why did he leave his family Why did he leave his friends Just because he had a few fights with his mother That would be stupid Why couldn’t he just say he was sorry After a while he tried to make it up And eventually they stopped fighting But his mother didn’t forget it Nor did she forgive him But they stopped fighting At last Because the boy didn’t like it when people were fighting It made him wanna run away So he didn’t speak about it It was all so painful … Then there was a time of peace Everything calmed down And the boy was starting to feel better Everything was going to be alright But nothing was less true … It was the start of another school year The boy had to show his sister around in the school Because this was her first year It reminded him Of his first year with his brother … And how he had left school After the fist half of the year This year would be different The boy hoped He felt like he has had enough problems Because he would soon become 15 And wouldn’t have to visit his dad anymore He would stay home And take care of his mother Because he understood a lot more than in the beginning But the problems weren’t over … As now his sister started fighting with his mom For the first time the boy locked himself into his room And laid on his bed Crying … Hoping it would soon be over … That it would finally end … But unlike the short fight between his brother and mother This fight lasted longer Almost six months And the boy felt that he couldn’t take it anymore But suddenly his father interfered He went to court He wanted his daughter to come live at his place The boy’s mother Tired of fighting with her daughter Agreed and let her move out The boy didn’t see his sister again For a very long time And more and more He was lying on his bed Crying … Wondering why this was happening … If it wasn’t for his best friends He would have gone insane a long while ago His friends was al he had now Because the house he lives in Was as good as completely empty His mother was of course very sad For losing another child That’s how it felt Even the youngest child Knew something was wrong 5 years … And she already knew … But eventually Things calmed down again And once again The boy felt like it was finally over But again that wasn’t true The year was almost over And as the boy was making his way upstairs His mother told him something His dad was going to sell the house … Not yet realising what this meant The boy went upstairs And as he thought about it He knew what this could mean He would have move to another house He would have to leave his friends living here It was even possible that he had to change school And then the boy became very unhappy This was the worst news he ever heard It was bad enough he didn’t see his sister anymore Now it could be that he never saw his friends again And instead of learning for his exams He worried He maybe never see his school again … How could his father do this to him Just when he boy thought he understood Something else happened Whenever he was feeling happy again Something happened that made him feel unhappy again And this time His problems led to more problems Just when he stopped thinking about moving It was already time to get his rapport He knew he did a poor job But he hoped it wasn’t too bad But then again When was he lucky ... His luck had left him long time ago And now it wasn’t different Would it never be over He thought As he laid down on his bed Not crying this time Just looking out his window The year was over And if he would see his friends back He didn’t knew If things would be better soon He could only hope But he didn’t worry anymore Worrying didn’t made things better It could even make things worse So he didn’t worry He didn’t knew what was gonna happen And that was just fine He could only wait To see what was coming And until then He would try To enjoy every second Of what seemed an ever lasting vacation This is where the story ends And it will soon be forgotten What happened to the boy nobody knows Maybe his bad luck has come to an end For ever And maybe not Maybe his story has come to an end And maybe it has only just begun … |
tom- i really don't know what to say. i can offer advice to fix a few grammatical errors if you want but if you'd rather leave it as it is thats ok too. all i can think to say is that i truly hope things begin to get better for you, i really do. it must be hard to just live through it. you know where to find me if you want to talk. if you think you want to fix the errors, send me a PM and i'll give you the run down (its a long piece so its quite a few picky things- sorry) anyway, i do kinda like the way this flows. a bit like random thoughts but enough like a story that it holds you attention. the emotion, well, thats all it is isnt it? you are good at incorporating feelings and reactions instead of just narrating. i'm not sure if i'd call it a poem like you did in your description but whatever. Thanks for sharing this and remember to send me that PM if you want help, k? SASHA LYNN | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by Sasha Lynn | [ Reply to This ] | Well done for writing it, but your description is right, it IS long, and most people won't bother to read it. | If you are going to write long poems and stories, you need to make it so interesting that the reader can't put it down. I'm afraid that this one did't do that for me. But don't be discouraged, try a shorter piece, and keep writing be happy Graeme | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ] | |