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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Connoisseur and the Artistdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rue
    ASL Info:    16/F/the dark side
    Elite Ratio:    4.54 - 244/182/44
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 871
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 761



    Description:
       Renders Pandora is quoted because they're characters in something I wrote. Render and Pandora. They're pretty cool, really.. But the poem, surreptitiously means like, stealthily done, or masked well. Virtuosi just means excedingly smart and artsy. Umm... Prosaic? That means like, a-matter-of-fact. Pretty much, Render is the negligent, crazy artist, and Pandora is quite... not-so-reckless, and even so far as prim.


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    dotsThe Connoisseur and the Artistdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is an phenomonal maintenance
    For her jaded sensibility
    Such occult Virtuosi excellence
    Must rely on pneumatic kisses

    Prosaic negligence shines in his eyes
    With a naked and spectral geometric nature
    While funeral lilies ignite ivy vines
    And crawl over washed away sandcastles

    Surreptitiously pendulums of vast magnitude
    Swing against the wind towards one another
    Thereís an empty canvas, white and crude
    For the artistís heart to explore

    The wilted dancing connoisseur is waiting for
    When the pipers pause in their piping
    To grace his ears with ancient lore
    Watching tirelessly as the artist "Renders Pandora"




    Submitted on 2006-02-22 16:51:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      MMMMmmmm, me likey. Very nicely poetic...I couldn't help but think of a supermodel that you were describing...is that the secret?

    The artist....the make-up man, the hairdresser, the plastic surgeon?

    I may have totally the wrong meaning here, as the last line made me think a bit more, but I loved reading it about five times, each time I found another good bit.

    Very well done, Ms Rue, very good indeed

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this. your vocabulary is amazing, and your wording is beautiful. i really felt drawn into this dream world. i loved the way you used so many abstract ideas and images. im a sucker for the abstract. the only real problem i see is that maybe surreptitiously should be surreptitious. it shouldn't be an adjective, since you are modifying a noun, not a verb (although for some strange reason, i can't remember the name of a noun modifier. it will come later, when it doesnt matter.) overall, great write. good thinking and wonderful ideas.
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by brokenroses | [ Reply to This ]
      yes, very imaginative. I felt as though I were there with these two. the big words bother me though--well, not all of them but surreptitiously does for some reason. not sure why. also with the sentence you have using virtuosi, I think it should be virtuosic--an adjective. I could be wrong, but I think it even sounds better.

    this definitely has lovely images and much creativity to it. nice work. I look forward to reading more as well.
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really a clever write
    You take us your readers thru a journey into your imaganitive world
    I look forward to seeing more writes from you
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this poem very much, particularly because it took me to somewhere I'd never been. It told me a story of two people I felt I knew, and that was a neat experience. Kudos, keep it up!
    @>->- Jenn
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by BreakAndFall | [ Reply to This ]


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