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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Finally letting godots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: darkwinged
    ASL Info:    17/F/MI
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 184/217/74
    Words: 605
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 814
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3405



    Description:
       This is not my usual, after all, I don't really write short stories (but i kinda like it) I know this is sad, but it's a story of letting go, and moving on...i hope you like....

    *sidenote*:::::THIS DID NOT HAPPEN TO ME....*this was added after my first comment*

    please, i would really like some feedback on this...that would really make my night.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFinally letting godots
    -------------------------------------------


    One night I took a stroll down the middle of the road. It was midnight, and everything was absolutely beautiful. The moon caught the snow, creating a subtle glow. There weren't any cars around, just me and the sky. Living in the country definitely has it's advantages.

    I couldn't sleep, with all the thoughts running through my head, thinking of him.

    Looking up, I could see the stars, glinting so far in the distance, sending chills up and down my spine, radiating through my whole body, from head to toe. I suddenly remembered how much I loved the thought of infinity out there, the endless savanna of space. The fact there could be something else out there...

    And then I remember that time we were laying outside at two in the morning. It was at a party, and we were star gazing. He turned to look at me, and told me he loved me and that nothing would ever happen to us. Afterwards, it started to rain, and we stripped and danced together at two in the morning under the lightning show, with the thunder wildly applausing us.

    We were going to be the High School couple- the ones who stayed together until the Earth shattered into a billion pieces.

    But things happened.

    We were both almost twenty, and already sophomores in college. We were across the country from each other, but we made it work. We called each other, and met every weekend. We were a match made in heaven.

    And then, the one and only weekend I told him I wouldn't be able to make it because of a monster paper that was due, the weekend of my birthday, he decided to come and surprise me with a huge dinner. My parents knew about it, and never told me.

    I was sleeping. It was exactly four in the morning, when my phone rang. I answered it, only to hear my mom say:
    "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you..."
    After that, the tears came, and I didn't hear anything else.

    Ten minutes later, I was dressed and in my car, to go see that this truly did happen; that it wasn't a nightmare. But I didn't stop to see.

    I drove and kept on driving, not stopping until I had driven out of the city; the state. When I reached the West Virginia line, I pulled over and exploded. I remember yelling at the sky, the car, the road, the snow, but most of all, God, for allowing this to happen to the one I loved, the one that was my life.

    The next thing I remembered was being hugged some stranger from a house nearby. It was an elderly lady, with wiry gray hair and wrinkles covering her face. She walked me inside and offered me cookies and milk, which I had accepted. Sitting down across from me, she asked me what was wrong, so I tell her...

    I think about how it's now been five years.

    I realize now that silent tears are falling down my face. No...it's actually rain. The first rainfall of the year.

    I'm now laughing and sobbing at the same time, and as a flash of lightning streaked across the sky, I stripped and danced to the wild applause of thunder...this was my way of letting go of him...

    "Every night I dream of you
    And every day that passes by
    The pain of you fades a little
    I will never forget you."




    Submitted on 2006-02-22 19:53:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love this more than anything.I got goosebumps.Aaah. <33 I think it's great how you like described things and yeah, I love it.
    | Posted on 2006-02-27 00:00:00 | by AmorVincitOmnia | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, that made me cry, but i ah held it back, we ARE in school right not. It would look weird if I burst out crying. So your ah..sitting next to me right now. Pretty dang sweet, I could just tell you this to your face but then it wouldnt be fun..would it? That was a great story! Keep writing short stories, your really good at it.
    inkpen^
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, man. I am in a dear kind of love with this story of yours! Oh, I absolutely loved this.
    It had a lot of beautiful description. I really really liked the part about them stripping down in the rain to the applause of the thunder, and how when she was walking down the street, thinking about it all again, she stripped down and danced. I have always wanted to do that, dance naked in the rain.
    In the beginning of this, when it said that she was walking down the middle of the road, I honestly expected for her to be hit by a car. I am glad that she wasn't. That made me happy.
    I also liked the fact that it never really told what exactly happened to the fellow, you left it up to the reader, and that is wonderful. People are more likely to keep stories in mind if they can sort of fill in the spots themselves. Not telling everything lets the reader have control, and that is always fun.
    Have you ever read the story 'The Lady or The Tiger '? It is a short story and it is wonderful in that the writer never tells the end. It is left completely up to the reader.
    I loved this story. I just absolutely loved it. It showed a lot of creativity. I was never very good at the descriptive writing, and in this story, you really put me in the main characters position. I could see the rain and I could almost feel the cold wind...
    This story...if I had to describe it in one word, I think is just, original. You took what could have been a common concept and turned it into an extraordinary description of humanity in it's sad times.
    It is also refreshing to see a short story here. I think that I have been on this site for over a year, and I have only seen a handful of short stories. Yours being one of them.
    I absolutely loved this story and i look forward to more of your writing.

    ...Jessie
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this made me cry, bcuz it hits to close to home for me.

    i can see from this that you went thru so much with him but no matter what u made it work n thats tru love
    im sorry for your lose and i wish things were differently
    i can also tell that ur strong and instead of breaking down and letting everything make u fall you held on to that memory of him n let it guide u thru ur life.
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      This is just beautiful. My cousin, Jessie, read it before me and basically forced me to read it aloud to several people at my house last weekend. It brought tears to my eyes. And when it was done a sort of hush fell over the room and we all payed silent homage to the beauty of your story. There is something incredibly beautiful about the rain. It's raining right now, as a matter of fact, which is entirely appropriate. This is a beautiful, touching dedication to the one you loved and lost.
    | Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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