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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Eyes too Wide for Sightsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AtrophyEmpathos
    ASL Info:    19 M California
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 45/55/29
    Words: 194
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 731
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1228



    Description:
       This poem is intended to supplement
    "The Duelist," (see my submission list)

    If you read both and comment I WILL love you forever as I am trying to get a feel for how comprehensible my ideas are.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEyes too Wide for Sightsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Here I stand,
    Hand in hand,
    With a wide-eyed child
    I once knew better than
    Anything else in the world;

    In front of me I clearly see
    A matrix of systems,
    Evanescent but impenetrable,
    And it seems for years we’ve been
    Building the courage to go in together;

    But the eyes of this child are not so blind

    Because he knew Love,
    He knew the teachings of Christ,
    He was familiar with the myriad
    Misunderstandings that led to
    The evil that men do;

    Their many twisting patterns of logic
    He recognized as the weakness
    Of so many who were unwilling
    To open the hearts and eyes
    Of their tattered, shackled souls
    To the oceans of light that flood
    Our eyes and minds each day;

    To the myriad streams and rivers of sound,
    To the awakening sensation of touch,
    To the rich smell and taste of the day;
    All of which is but a shadow of the real
    And the eyes of this child are not so blind;

    He knows that if you stare at any one thing long enough
    Everything else begins to fade away…





    Submitted on 2006-02-22 22:31:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked this poem. It opened my eyes. I agree with Mystmaker when they said "I see an elderly or older man who, having never really understood the complexity of life"
    Great work.
    Gothicsweetness
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by gothicsweetness | [ Reply to This ]
      "The evil that men do" would be more accurate if phrased "the evil men commit"

    "The many twisting patterns of logic
    He recognized as weakness
    Of so many who were unwilling"

    I feel "weakness in so many" makes it easier to connect these thoughts.

    Other than that I thought the start was borerline cliché and almost stopped reading but you used that as a leverage point later on in the poem and I'm all for that.

    I think I've read one of your poems before and been impressed by the flow of thoughts and language...by the way it setadily builds up.
    I'm impressed again.

    DB
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      For this particular poem, I see an elderly or older man who, having never really understood the complexity of life and all its entangled morals, stands there holding the hand of a younger child with 'wide eyes' or eyes open to the possibilities as well as a wisdom and understanding that the man does not have... I think when the elderly man says
    "With a wide-eyed child
    I once knew better than
    Anything else in the world"
    he is thinking back to when he was younger and his elders viewed him just the same

    again this is just how I see it and am not terribly great at the entire poetry interpretation thing, so please bare with me if I have insulted you in any way

    good read
    -mystmaker
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by MystMaker | [ Reply to This ]


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