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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stolendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kersofmia
    ASL Info:    19/m/Mia
    Elite Ratio:    5.51 - 111/84/44
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 411
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 504



    Description:
       This is another poem from when I was 14... Simple but I like it...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStolendots
    -------------------------------------------


    Where is it?
    I cannot find even a little bit,
    For it is gone,
    But my search goes on,
    And before dawn,
    I pledge to find this sneaky thief,
    And search under every leaf,

    Still my search marches on,
    And I lurch behind every bush,
    But still this murderer is here,
    Preying on everything I hold dear,

    But do not fear,
    For I have my mind,
    On the task to try to find,
    the woman who stole my heart...




    Submitted on 2006-02-23 08:15:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow
    you make kids like me look smart
    even tho i'm not smart

    ok about the poem



    the part i loved the most was the ending
    you did a really great job at it

    "But do not fear,
    For I have my mind,
    On the task to try to find,
    the woman who stole my heart..."

    i just loved it! and if i were smart
    i would know how to explain it

    | Posted on 2006-04-08 00:00:00 | by Kay | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the way you left the twist till the end, as Ron said that was very clever. It's assumed until that point that it's something material you've lost and then 'the woman who stole my heart...' hits home rather strongly.

    Also the phrases 'sneaky thief' and 'murderer' add an emphasis, instead of it just being an ordinary love ppoem you went a step further and made it seem like a crime to love...which looking round my school seems a very teenage approach! Not sure if I'm right in my analysis - almost completely different from Ron's - but never mind!
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]
      This is clever
    Even more clever when I see you were only 14 when you wrote this
    You really showed that even the youth of the world have a romantic heart when it comes to deep love
    Great Write
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]



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