Description: This is written from the perspective of a character I'm working on...a kinain. For those not familiar to World of Darkness games, a kinain are blood relatives to changelings or fae that have the enchanted blood within their veins. They are Touched, so to speak. This particular character is based around the Sluagh and the Satyr kiths. So tends to revolve around dark areas as well as suffering from Pan's Curse, meaning they are influenced by their emotions. Depression and meloncholy would be the forte of this character's emotional basis.
The Forgotten -------------------------------------------
In a land of hollow dreams
With empty promises
Broken fragments of love
Glistening like ground glass
Childlike rapture is lost
Spattered tears along the road
Following the path of growing up
Sacrificing the innocence of youth
See my bleeding childhood
Cut down in the name of maturity
See my fingers stained with blood
From growing up too fast
I've torn the dreams from my mind
Pieces of myself tumbling down
And now the price is too much
As what I wanted feels void
Dead fairy tales lie at my feet
Ravaged strands of imagination
Vacated remnants of fascination
Echoing in a silent mental chasm
Brief memoiries of shades and spectres
Ghosts of the past and legends
Flitting in after images of childhood
The stories of the Forgotten...
This was awesome. Unlike the guy who posted before me, I didn't find it overly complex. I think that the best stanza out of the whole thing was the fifth one. awesome opening line to that one. Keep it up.
I think overall it is very fantasy like, and obviously that was your goal, very wordy and very unique I think however, that the word choice was a little over the top, because the whole poem is very complex to begin with *in a sense* No harm meant, I just think it should be simplified a bit, because it has to read easy, and though I believe this is a good poem, it could be improved. (All of my poems could be improved too) Maybe Im just too picky, and this is one of the greatest pieces of art that our world has ever known.
Submission Name: The Forgotten
