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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: i hate youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 575
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 654



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsi hate youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i want to die.
    why did you lie?
    you led me on.
    now i am gone.
    i want life back.
    you're what i lack.
    i loved you much.
    i loved your touch.
    i dream of you.
    my dreams came true.
    this nightmare's real.
    i now hate you.
    why do i cry?
    you said good bye.
    use and abuse.
    you're who i choose.
    i am now lost.
    my soul's the cost.
    i long to scream.
    i hate this dream
    awaken me.
    i long to see.
    the truth is dead.
    its me you led.
    good bye to life.
    i lived in strife.




    Submitted on 2006-02-23 16:17:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it.You really express your emotions and thoughts in your writing and that gives us the ability to enjoy it.Modern rather than relic.I think its good,flows well and easy to read.Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by nosferotu_gurl | [ Reply to This ]
      this was really good. i like that its short and simple, and i can definitely relate to it. your rhyme and flow were both pretty good... keep up the awesome writing!
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by jen531 | [ Reply to This ]
      It was really good. In the middle though you suddenly went off the rhyme sheme, and then back on it again. Besides that it was really good. keep up the good work!

    -Billy
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by BigRed | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice. This was triple S...that is, short, simple and sweet, for those of you who don't know, lol.

    This was pretty cool and I liked it a lot. This is a horrible comment, lol, um, I really don't have anything bad to say.
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      wowies..i loved it..

    "I want to die.
    why did you lie?
    you led me on.
    now i am gone.
    i want life back.
    you're what i lack.
    i loved you much."

    Those lines just completely hit me hard..i could relate to this piece a lot..and it hurts to know that someone leads you on and then doesn't care about you..but you still loved them..its happened to me plenty of times..loved it..keep up the great work!
    -Lucy-
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow this was awesome, lots of emotion and you did a really good job of saying what you needed to say. short, sweet and to the point. I don't have anything bad to say about the write itself, except I hated the format and I think it slowed down the flow of the write but it wasn't the hugest deal I guess, the write itself is good but I think that personally it's annoying when you can 'love' someone for so long and then the first time they hurt you, you suddenly hate them, I hate that b/c I've been in situations where I wanted to hate the guy afterwards but I couldn't and it's annoying to me how quickly a peron's feelings for someone can change that drastically, no offense with that though I'm just saying, I thought it was a pretty good write
    peace,
    ~jess
    | Posted on 2006-07-22 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece was GOOOD. Simple and to the point. Hate is a strong word, and your poem expressed it really well. While only using simple words and rhymes. It was probably the order of the words that i liked.
    | Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]


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