Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: i hate youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 568
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 654



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsi hate youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i want to die.
    why did you lie?
    you led me on.
    now i am gone.
    i want life back.
    you're what i lack.
    i loved you much.
    i loved your touch.
    i dream of you.
    my dreams came true.
    this nightmare's real.
    i now hate you.
    why do i cry?
    you said good bye.
    use and abuse.
    you're who i choose.
    i am now lost.
    my soul's the cost.
    i long to scream.
    i hate this dream
    awaken me.
    i long to see.
    the truth is dead.
    its me you led.
    good bye to life.
    i lived in strife.




    Submitted on 2006-02-23 16:17:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it.You really express your emotions and thoughts in your writing and that gives us the ability to enjoy it.Modern rather than relic.I think its good,flows well and easy to read.Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by nosferotu_gurl | [ Reply to This ]
      this was really good. i like that its short and simple, and i can definitely relate to it. your rhyme and flow were both pretty good... keep up the awesome writing!
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by jen531 | [ Reply to This ]
      It was really good. In the middle though you suddenly went off the rhyme sheme, and then back on it again. Besides that it was really good. keep up the good work!

    -Billy
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by BigRed | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice. This was triple S...that is, short, simple and sweet, for those of you who don't know, lol.

    This was pretty cool and I liked it a lot. This is a horrible comment, lol, um, I really don't have anything bad to say.
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      wowies..i loved it..

    "I want to die.
    why did you lie?
    you led me on.
    now i am gone.
    i want life back.
    you're what i lack.
    i loved you much."

    Those lines just completely hit me hard..i could relate to this piece a lot..and it hurts to know that someone leads you on and then doesn't care about you..but you still loved them..its happened to me plenty of times..loved it..keep up the great work!
    -Lucy-
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow this was awesome, lots of emotion and you did a really good job of saying what you needed to say. short, sweet and to the point. I don't have anything bad to say about the write itself, except I hated the format and I think it slowed down the flow of the write but it wasn't the hugest deal I guess, the write itself is good but I think that personally it's annoying when you can 'love' someone for so long and then the first time they hurt you, you suddenly hate them, I hate that b/c I've been in situations where I wanted to hate the guy afterwards but I couldn't and it's annoying to me how quickly a peron's feelings for someone can change that drastically, no offense with that though I'm just saying, I thought it was a pretty good write
    peace,
    ~jess
    | Posted on 2006-07-22 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece was GOOOD. Simple and to the point. Hate is a strong word, and your poem expressed it really well. While only using simple words and rhymes. It was probably the order of the words that i liked.
    | Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    92606

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry