"You came into My life" by DrkRomeo

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Submission Name: "You came into My life" dots

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Author:	DrkRomeo_sGirl
ASL Info:	16/f/somewhere in my mind
Elite Ratio:	2.97 - 77/75/26
Words:	168

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	277
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	943

Description:
Dj JOlly this is for you. I love you.

xoxo
BabyGirl

"You came into My life" dots

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Before I met you, my life was a mess.
I was scrared, alone, and full of depress.

I gave my heart and soul to a guy before,
When he broke it , I felt I could love no more.

When this happened, I did'nt want to live another day.
But then I found you and knew you'd kiss the pain away.

As I noticed your love and care you were giving,
I realized you were the reason i was living.

You stole my heart, without a trace.
With your words, your touch, and that baby face.

As U felt those feelings,
I said its to good to be true,
But as time passed by,
I knew I was in LOVE with you.

You came into my life, sent down from heaven.
Now I think of you 24/7.

If I were to loose you,
I would not know what to do.
Because you have no clue,
How much I LOVE YOU.

Submitted on 2006-02-23 17:16:08 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  aww....this one gave me people bumps....
:)
..........im mean.....er.......goose bumps.......
or what ever the devil you humans are saying nowadays.
(nervous laugh)

...rite....

...tsk..tsk...
DJ you lucky devil you.

~grace~

| Posted on 2007-02-06 00:00:00 | by XmaryjaneX | [ Reply to This ]
  This was an awesome piece and I loved it! But maybe you should put bigger words into it or more emotional, less commonly used, words into it. It may make it a bit more interesting and more flowing.
| Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by hurley09 | [ Reply to This ]
  I get your feelings from this piece, and i believe that they are genuine and from the heart which in my book is a good start, but i have to be honest that it seems to be full of clichés to me. In saying that though i believe you can do much better, and i must say that i would take the time to read your work in the near future.
| Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]
  hey Erica, i could really feel the love in this. and I'm happy that you and DJ are in love, its something special and hard to achieve.

in stanza 4:

If I were to loose you,
I would not know what to do.
Because you have no clue,
How much I LOVE YOU.

maybe if you were to change the 3rd line to:

Baby you have no clue,
How much I LOVE YOU.

it might flow a little bit better. and in the first line of this stanza, change 'loose' to 'lose'.

i like the rhyming, it just fit perfectly together.

I really liked this piece.

~Zach~
| Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by insphered soul | [ Reply to This ]

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