interesting. I acutally think it was cool as far as the over all poem spelling out Crying, Dying. but the flow wasn't as good as it could've been and it felt like you forced the words. you went off rhyme a little but other than that's it's great. I think i liked the overall orginallity of the poem.
hi there...like the idea of the form a lot...rather intelligent i must say...however the thoughts arent that profound...u cud work on the structure and try a slightly different rhyme scheme... cheers mihir
Hey, this is a cool structure. Original :) However, as previous mentioned above "N ever do i see why im falling" this has some rhythm issues. If you count the number of syllables used in each sentance it might help. Good luck!