[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: lynn7
    ASL Info:    43/ St. Augustine, FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 419/288/103
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 1247
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 759

       Just some thoughts. Last line is from RH "Street Spirit".

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Spend the last couple of months in a hell
    of depression that covered my eyes
    was searching for things that weíre my own
    looking for the reason why
    there is so much pain in the world
    why I canít doing anything to change it
    everyone around me is falling down
    the times is moving to fast for us now
    distraction and noise cloud the mind
    nothing is simple anymore
    but I know there is still love out there
    feeling like I donít belong here anymore
    like my home is of a different world
    for the time being Iím here
    so what should we do with this time
    sit back and watch the world decay
    or use the only true gift God gave us
    immerse our self in love

    Submitted on 2006-02-24 00:01:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hi, amazing, you are proof.

    "so what should we do with this time
    sit back and watch the world decay
    or use the only true gift God gave us
    immerse our self in love."

    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought it was perfect the way it was Lynn. Description was first rate and your thoughts were very compelling. And yes, you are right about love...it is always there - always has been - and always will be.

    When all is gone, love will always remain.

    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a great piece but i think it would be better if you separated a little
    but all in all well done
    thanx for all your comments
    and keep posting

    thanx sandman
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      it would be good o punctuate. Maybe also cut down on the number of words pre line, i think you can adiquetly get your point across without saying so many words. I think this is the outlook of many teens: depressed with nothing going their way, attempt to be optimistic and you shall overcome.
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Linger written by saartha
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer written by layDsayD
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]