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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Spotless Minddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: particularshard
    ASL Info:    23/m/DC
    Elite Ratio:    4.21 - 1159/1392/363
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 1459
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1386



    Description:
       I just saw that movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." Also communed with some puerto rican rum. So this is how the two mixed together for me. I'm also cleanin up my applications to law school and tryin really hard to get a fuckin job - honestly, its like my bachelor's was an utter waste of time.


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    dotsThe Spotless Minddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sometimes I wake and think I should be somebody else,
    Or think that someone else should be me.
    Sometimes I think I drink because its bad for my health
    Sometimes I think I drink to be free
    Sometimes I feel there's only me that's there for myself
    Sometimes I feel that life's a disease
    But sometimes I know i'm feeling all the things that I've felt
    And all I have to do is be.

    When I feel like this I cut to the quick
    Sober you up from the weed or the liq
    Only one word to describe me: sick
    Only one heard when I arrived and *click*
    Gun blasts
    Son crashed to pavement
    Words before I pulled?
    See you in the basement.
    Cuz heaven's advanced placement
    And I never felt school -
    Still studied hard when they said it wasn't cool.
    Still pulled they card when they claimed I was a fool -
    Because -
    Time favors the patient man
    And since I know i'll never get to be an ancient man,
    Today I'm rattlin the chains on the plantation, man
    For your information, and
    Further
    Edification
    I rock like you rock to your radio station -
    Strictly by feel
    I can't help but keep it real
    And roast up these small fries for all who got a raw deal.




    Submitted on 2006-02-24 01:52:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with Kristen. It sounded like a song of rage. First you are mad at yourself for your flaws and for the many times that you have fallen to temptation and then you just look at life and all that you have to do. You plan ahead and try to find solutions to your problems and realize that though death would be an escape it certainly would not solve problems. I love this poem because it spoke of emotions I too have felt before. No matter how hard I try it seems that I never get anywhere. In fact it seems that all the good that I strived to have is being taken and its all my fault. Your poem is a paradox because as it speaks of rage it also speaks of hope. That is human. We are mad at the world so many times but yet we hope that things will be better tomorrow. Life is a hard teacher, it gives you the test first and then the lesson. A famous quote that I live by. Life is hard we all know that, we all have experienced pain in one form or another but we must remember that life is here to teach and we must incorporate those lessons to make this life better. I don't know if I believe in heaven or hell. I don't know what I believe in sometimes I am confused but I do like how you speak of life as learning and if you don't learn from life then you will never be able to advance anywhere not even to the gates of heaven. Well that is all for now, great poem.
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Katrinagolden | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. This poem starts off a certain way and then chages style completely. By the end it sounds like a spur-of-the moment rap, like, stream of consciousness, whereas the beginning is a lot more structured. I get what you're saying, and I chuckled inwardly when you said that heaven is advanced placement. Now what did that line in particular mean? I know when I was in ap classes, they were really easy and it was high school so we were coddled excessively, and yet got college credits. Is that too superficial of a interpretation of that line- wanting to be a spoon-fed high schooler again?
    overall, interesting, interestin, though at the very end I must say I had no idea what you meant. :D oh well!
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Kristen Gudsnuk | [ Reply to This ]
      You got rythm, man. i mean, i drum. i drum. no rap, but i had to learn. learn learn learn learn.

    with you the ryhme and rythm seem to flow naturally. one word leads to another leads to the point was what? but every line is a point, a knife that's sharp and cuts the the quick. insteresting...
    i mean ,"all i have to do is be" may be a little linking park, or the euphoria of an acid trip, but it works for god knows what reason.

    What i really like is how a rhyme can lead to a another rhyme that moves on to a new subject that flows into a metaphor for... whatever you want it to be. and what you want it to be is interesting. different.... anyways.
    | Posted on 2006-06-12 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]


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