Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Mortgagedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: chrls
    ASL Info:    43/m/louisiana
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 43/56/16
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 752
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1121



    Description:
       Something I penned real quick about buying our house. Let me know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Mortgagedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Please sign here, initial there.
    Sign here, initial, sign again.

    Alas, it seems there is no end.

    A vial of blood, a lock of hair.
    My name scribbled to nonsense.
    I didn't think I'd be this tense.

    Endorse a check, then sign once more.
    We're almost done.

    It's a damn good thing.
    As my eyes start to blur, and my ears start to ring.

    A roof and walls, and a new tile floor.
    A beautiful home for my family.
    A joy from the previous insanity.

    Classic green shutters and a fine red door.
    Thirty years to bitch and moan
    About what it took to get the loan.

    Thirty years to make memories
    A lifetime as we all grow old
    A lifetime since the "bought" and "sold"

    All done with love for my family
    I did it then, I would do it again.
    I did it, wouldn't you my friend?




    Submitted on 2006-02-24 10:49:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      yeah i know about that sense of panic and relief when signing and endorsing and sighning once more... nothing like lookforward to building memories.. a diffrent theme from looking back on them...
    | Posted on 2006-05-11 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one, it is different than the usual type of poetry I like....but yet there's something about it that makes me like it so much. Great job.
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by luckyms20 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that this is a classic piece done in a very modern way. I think that it is something new that more people can relate to and I completly get this. I just moved and it really is all just a headache.

    Jazmine Mystique
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      your so right a big committment but then when
    or in divorce that house will be your biggest headache and more signatures and initials
    well done
    very creative
    sandman
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    92690

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    "other people don't get that" written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Everyone written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry