Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Contradictiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: graeme
    ASL Info:    33/M/Maple Ridge B.C. Can
    Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 26/43/19
    Words: 178
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1140
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1103



    Description:
       I'm not sure this is anything really, more than a rant, but i was aiming for a poem. Let me know what you think, but honest, even if it means being mean.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsContradictiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Balances and checks keep us who we are
    mainstreampop/mainstreampunk/mainstreamfood keep us who we should be
    Anarchy is not the way to go but it sure had something right
    Push limits until we know we've gone to far
    Those limits are in our heads naturally
    We shouldn't have to condone these limits and we shouldn't have to fight

    Who hasn't had the gut feeling to run away?
    to go so far that even you don't know yourself when you get to where you're going.
    But those around you keep you steady and keep you ready to fight for what's you (not yours).
    And thanks to those people, you can take another day in the commercial driven, trend explotative land glorious and free or the land of the free

    We have a micorsoft world where there is a program to fit everyone's need but no program for those who desire no program.
    Being unplugged isn't an option, how would you do your banking, your shopping, your communicating?
    How would you write poetry?





    Submitted on 2006-02-24 11:30:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ok.. where to begin? maybe in the traditional sense of what ought to be a poem and what makes up a poem this isn't quite what people would expect...but then isn't that in essence exactly what you were saying..going against the grain isn't allowed or aknowledged as being legitimate? I beieve that the mere expression of something you feel passionate about can be labeled as a poem if you want it to..A first,is it? Keep it up,I say.
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Jill Lynne | [ Reply to This ]
      it is poetic in a strange kind of way but then it isn't a poem actually,a rant maybe, I say maybe because your speaking of more then one thing really, an yet your focused technology and how we the poeple of the world can't seem to do much without,I really liked the last stanza,and in all honesty I truly found this a good write
    adnil
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      This is one heck of a write
    It speaks truth all the way thru
    To me you are saying something that is very important and lacking in this world
    BE YOURSELF
    Do not let others create your life for you
    You will never truefully be happy
    Excellent Write
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it, It was kind of a write, but not entierly. I mean it seemed great to me. I liked how you wrote about how we couldn't be here without conformistry, but we still have to be ourselves... That was my thought on it, might not have been yours but it was mine. so yeah keep up the good work and I'll keep commenting on your writes. THNX

    - Kyle
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the first section. It could make a cool song if you expanded it and formatted properly. I wouldn't class this as poetry, so I'd change it to the rant category or misc., but I do see a sort of message that's a bit like OK Computer (having a ambivalent attitude toward technology and the postmodern world). I'd also be consistent and punctuate it properly, Amy
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I will be blunt since I have permission to be. This was senseless ramblings. I found no common thread to connect your thoughts and this was no were near a poem. I think you jumped all over the place with topics and ideas...and it was to much. It had no ryhme or reason. I think you need to use the art of clarity and provide a meaningful and cohesive thread of thoughts to make this in to a poem. Work on the flow. Alot of work to be done before this can pass a poem.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    92692

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry