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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Heaven On Earthdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: seoul_mecht
    ASL Info:    22/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.55 - 17/16/11
    Words: 260
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 524
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1617



    Description:
       My Grandmother just died. I dedicate this poem to her and anyone else that has ever lost a loved one.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHeaven On Earthdots
    -------------------------------------------


    From my left eye I cry tears of sorrow
    From my right eye I cry tears of joy
    From the corners of my mouth to the tip of my tongue
    There echoes a strong resonance from my throat
    That I swallow but do not understand

    Though you were missing a limb
    You are whole in spirit

    At times of empty stomach
    But with a smile filled with joy

    Blind but with the sight of a thousand hawks
    Never once in school but with the wisdom of the world

    Poor in body
    But a Sampson of understanding

    You had the mouth of mouths
    Fulfilling me with hope and laughter
    You had the ear of ears
    That each word chased on after

    To a doctor you’re in a fastened sleep
    To a believer you’re wide awake

    Dedication, dedication, dedication

    I am dedicated

    Spit in death’s eye and grab courage by the hand
    For you see the tomorrow that none can fathom

    To be without crying, to be without tears
    To be without wanting, to be without years
    To be without worries, to be a cistern of cheers

    Knowing this and wondering
    With all the love and hope one can
    Truly, this is heaven on earth
    A Being all can understand

    Truly, this is heaven on earth
    For every human, whoever can
    You, me, he, she, we—
    all united under the banner “I Am”
    Truly this is heaven on earth

    Heaven on Earth
    I understand






    Submitted on 2006-02-24 11:52:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, this is a really nice poem.

    It basically gives a wonderful compliment to your grandmother and lots of other ones who died.

    Although she never went to school, she was very wise and understanding. This wisdom comes from living life in a good and meaningful way, full of full things.

    I really like the way you can cope with the death of your grandmother's death. Some people really have a hard time coping with thing's like that. I believe your parents would have a harder time coping because it is their mother. People are always connected more to their parents than their grandparents. It must have been hard on them.

    I like all the symbolism and imagery you used. It is such a wonderfully upbeat poem for a poem that deals with death and loss. Good work!
    | Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      It's nice how you've dedicated this to your grandmother.

    Anyway, humm... I'm not too keen on the rhythm. I mean, there is no consistant flow or beat to it. To be honest poems, really do need a good beat.

    I like the lines

    'To be without crying, to be without tears
    To be without wanting, to be without years
    To be without worries, to be a cistern of cheers'

    I liked the use of repition with 'to be'.

    'From my left eye I cry tears of sorrow
    Form my right eye I cry tears of joy
    From the corners of my mouth to the tip of my tongue'
    This verse sounds incomplete. I could be to do with you using only three lines.

    One last thing. After the repitition of 'dedication' you said 'I am dedicated'. I think instead of using 'dedicated' you should change that line so it would fit to place in 'dedication' to complete the repitition better.

    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by Seele | [ Reply to This ]
      This was beautiful.
    I know that your grandmother would be proud of you.
    This piece was full of feeling.
    You spoke from your heart. Such a beautiful thing.

    Your soul is here, as you tell us about life. Your heart is here, as you let go of her & awaken all the memories she gave you.

    I am sorry I could not say more,
    you did a wonderful job with the writting & the feeling. There is nothing that I could suggest to make it better, you have done a great job.
    thank you
    & take care
    ~jennifer
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah, 'spit in death's eye and grab courage by the hand' - what a valiant statement! Though I can't honestly say I "get" all the stanzas, the love you felt for your grandmother, the despair your feel for yourself at her death and the joy you feel for her as you celebrate the life she lived ring out . Nice job. Please accept my condolences for your grandmother's death. mae
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by mae | [ Reply to This ]


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