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    dots Submission Name: xu saidxdots

    Author: WhErEaMi
    ASL Info:    16/f/nc
    Elite Ratio:    2.95 - 35/38/24
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 968
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 434

       my dad

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsxu saidxdots

    theres not enought time
    left to say what i have to say

    I am sry for the way I am
    sry for all the therapy I put you throw

    you siad it wasent me
    you said I didnt do anything wrong

    I think you say that to make me feel better
    but it makes me feel worse
    cause ur lying to me

    it makes me not trust you
    I have no more faith in you

    Submitted on 2006-02-24 15:11:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I'm seeing a lot more of 'internet' language in poetry, and though it's not my style, it is a driving force in youth forms. You've used it well here.

    I do have some advice: Check, double check and triple check your spelling and grammar (in the form presented). There is a great piece here, but alot of folks won't give it the time of day if they see any errors, especially with the IM speak.

    Thanks for sharing!

    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Cigarz | [ Reply to This ]
      there was alot of emotion in this.my dad has never had the chance to lie to me.and parents only lie i guess because they dont want to see us do something if we knew the truth.im not sure though.but anyway good write
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by LostInYerTears | [ Reply to This ]
      wow..intensity roars with this piece and I loved the way you spelled the words that makes the meaning o so much more powerful..bravo to you for a wonderfull write..Cheers:)
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by badgirl | [ Reply to This ]
      it had a lot of emotion..the beginning was my favorite part..and yea dads do lie but only because they "care" i guess..i wouldn't understand what parents do because i'm not in their shoes..but i liked this poem i could relate somewhat..and just a bit of advice don't abbreviate, sometimes it gets the reader confused..and don't type too fast when writing a poem because you can mess up on the spelling, when your done writing another poem just look it over and make sure everything's ok and right..don't take that the wrong way i loved the poem its just some little advice..loved it..laters..keep up the great work! :P
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]

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