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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Instantaneousdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dolor
    Elite Ratio:    4.49 - 62/83/49
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 168
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 729



    Description:
       English sonnet.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInstantaneousdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Remainders of ears listening to subtle silence among grassy plains
    Dwindling down an unearthed road with rubber and flesh colliding
    Crafters of steel and plague touched with embellished rain
    Leaving left the desert and cockroach, laws abiding
    Mystics wonder even on these silent roads
    Where time only slows and fate is never known
    Piecing together unwritten codes
    Slower even, the rambling of outspoken toads
    Cutting through seams and transition
    Nothing ever changes until the end
    Shivering through opaque condition
    Willing road is taken to the rend
    Maybe there will be another day
    Slower still, time never seems to sway




    Submitted on 2006-02-24 22:48:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I thought of this poem as the reflections one gets when they sit in a park underneath a tree
    This is beautifully written and really created quite a visual
    Great Work
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-02-26 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm... i was a little lost, but in a good way. Like a 4 year old trying to understand Alice in Wonderland... it's kinda out there, but i marvel at the out there and what else is there, and this is like a kalidescope to see the "out there"... not to say you were druged out! I mean, it wasn't crystal clear what the topic was... it was kinda murky. Then it's mysterious! Even better! Kepp it up and keep me guessing!
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by diamonds_2_dust | [ Reply to This ]
      To poem didn't make sense to me, to some readers it's cool, but to me not, Did you write about 'Time'? thats what I got, how unsolved it really is. You did nothing wrong it's just I cant relate. Use more signs like (...) (,) this will slowen the pase of the poem, the effect you want it to have. and then SUDDENLY something happens to give the title the right to be the title.
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Ant | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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