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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: from habit to addictiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: maninthemirror
    ASL Info:    17/m/arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 224/318/109
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 541
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 537



    Description:
       this is a friend of mines poem...I couldn't read some of it....there was also not a clear rhyme scheme so, I just wrote it out.....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfrom habit to addictiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    many addictions stir the mind.
    make you have habits, like a person
    for the need of time. Many desires fill the heart, that make you love, and want. They make you go down, and as you fall further, you are never caught. there are many thoughts that reel the head. Some of those need to be thought of more, before they are shed, and leave your care, and (word I can't read) behind the wrong door. Some feelings are felt with alot of addiction, desire and thought. But without the wrong faith they are all wrong.




    Submitted on 2006-02-25 10:28:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this was good
    the concept in this poem was real simple

    i liked the flow , but the ending kind of brokedown to sound like prose, but i thought it rhymed well overall.


    about the poem- addiction is an extremely bad habit, i would say , and anything can be bad for ya if its not in moderation , so that my opinion on addiction.

    im thinkin maybe you could have wrote this out in lyric form
    like you started out doin..

    Good post
    PC
    | Posted on 2006-07-09 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was pretty cool. i agree with lewiskane. it does sound like they're lost and yes it should be much longer. tell em to join elite and then we can see what they got
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      really nice poem, feels like somebody is lost, very original, maybe make it longer, it made me feel like somebody was laking motivation and just wanted to give up
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Lewiskane | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, good, but short. I do not want you to ramble on if you have nothing more to say, but maybe some detail could add some length. It was kinda an exploration into the mind's wants, I guess. Good subject.
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Vile Deception | [ Reply to This ]
      that is awesome that's the kind of thing i write!
    How about making it longer? Turn it into a poem or a song.
    Really good. Keep at it.

    Wytchfire
    xx

    Rock on
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Wytchfire | [ Reply to This ]


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