[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: from habit to addictiondots

    Author: maninthemirror
    ASL Info:    17/m/arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 224/318/109
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 544
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 537

       this is a friend of mines poem...I couldn't read some of it....there was also not a clear rhyme scheme so, I just wrote it out.....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfrom habit to addictiondots

    many addictions stir the mind.
    make you have habits, like a person
    for the need of time. Many desires fill the heart, that make you love, and want. They make you go down, and as you fall further, you are never caught. there are many thoughts that reel the head. Some of those need to be thought of more, before they are shed, and leave your care, and (word I can't read) behind the wrong door. Some feelings are felt with alot of addiction, desire and thought. But without the wrong faith they are all wrong.

    Submitted on 2006-02-25 10:28:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this was good
    the concept in this poem was real simple

    i liked the flow , but the ending kind of brokedown to sound like prose, but i thought it rhymed well overall.

    about the poem- addiction is an extremely bad habit, i would say , and anything can be bad for ya if its not in moderation , so that my opinion on addiction.

    im thinkin maybe you could have wrote this out in lyric form
    like you started out doin..

    Good post
    | Posted on 2006-07-09 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was pretty cool. i agree with lewiskane. it does sound like they're lost and yes it should be much longer. tell em to join elite and then we can see what they got
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      really nice poem, feels like somebody is lost, very original, maybe make it longer, it made me feel like somebody was laking motivation and just wanted to give up
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Lewiskane | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, good, but short. I do not want you to ramble on if you have nothing more to say, but maybe some detail could add some length. It was kinda an exploration into the mind's wants, I guess. Good subject.
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Vile Deception | [ Reply to This ]
      that is awesome that's the kind of thing i write!
    How about making it longer? Turn it into a poem or a song.
    Really good. Keep at it.


    Rock on
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Wytchfire | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    AI written by poetotoe
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Push written by JanePlane
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Fasade written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]