Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: from habit to addictiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: maninthemirror
    ASL Info:    17/m/arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 224/318/109
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 531
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 537



    Description:
       this is a friend of mines poem...I couldn't read some of it....there was also not a clear rhyme scheme so, I just wrote it out.....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfrom habit to addictiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    many addictions stir the mind.
    make you have habits, like a person
    for the need of time. Many desires fill the heart, that make you love, and want. They make you go down, and as you fall further, you are never caught. there are many thoughts that reel the head. Some of those need to be thought of more, before they are shed, and leave your care, and (word I can't read) behind the wrong door. Some feelings are felt with alot of addiction, desire and thought. But without the wrong faith they are all wrong.




    Submitted on 2006-02-25 10:28:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this was good
    the concept in this poem was real simple

    i liked the flow , but the ending kind of brokedown to sound like prose, but i thought it rhymed well overall.


    about the poem- addiction is an extremely bad habit, i would say , and anything can be bad for ya if its not in moderation , so that my opinion on addiction.

    im thinkin maybe you could have wrote this out in lyric form
    like you started out doin..

    Good post
    PC
    | Posted on 2006-07-09 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was pretty cool. i agree with lewiskane. it does sound like they're lost and yes it should be much longer. tell em to join elite and then we can see what they got
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      really nice poem, feels like somebody is lost, very original, maybe make it longer, it made me feel like somebody was laking motivation and just wanted to give up
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Lewiskane | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, good, but short. I do not want you to ramble on if you have nothing more to say, but maybe some detail could add some length. It was kinda an exploration into the mind's wants, I guess. Good subject.
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Vile Deception | [ Reply to This ]
      that is awesome that's the kind of thing i write!
    How about making it longer? Turn it into a poem or a song.
    Really good. Keep at it.

    Wytchfire
    xx

    Rock on
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Wytchfire | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    92818

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry